"You are so unpredictable, sometimes I'd like to be that way"

My birthday is about a week away. I can't believe it... I don't know where the time went! A large group of my friends I call my 'senior' friends because they were all seniors when I was a freshman in high school. It will be highly amusing to call them seniors when they are seniors because I'm a dork who thinks that play on words will be funny... but only to me. Anywho! I remember when they all turned 27 and I thought man, that is a super grown-up age! So it's a bit weird to be at that point. I'm really looking forward to this trip with Ed to Seattle. Doesn't hurt that Anthony Bourdain just did a Layover episode for the city just yesterday!

I don't know if it's my birthday or if it's because of that post jazz band performance high but I've been thinking about high school a lot lately. Not so much thinking 'oh I wish I was back there' but reminiscing about all the things I loved. And I was super in love with some music. Lit? Guster? Ben Folds? Backstreet Boys? Dave Matthews Band? Robbie Williams? The list goes on. It's a bit sad, my pop music likes are kiiiiind of stunted thanks to all the musicals I opted for, but oh well!

I started making a Spotify playlist of all the songs that take me back. I would link to it on here but I'm gonna be honest, I have NO idea how Spotify works. I see people making playlists, and I have no clue how to access them or how to follow links or.... well do anything really. I don't understand why some songs play and others don't. I love playlists like you wouldn't believe. Making mix CDs was my jam! I think I made a mix CD for every season, every musical dressing room, every theaterfest, every crush, boyfriend and subsequent breakup... I was and honestly am still obsessed with those mixes. It's a sad sad thing no one does that in my life anymore. Maybe I should start up with that again? If my friends are reading this we should all start up! Doesn't have to be new music. There's bound to be thousands of tracks we haven't already shared with one another. One of the greatest feelings in the world is the one you get when a track comes on and you are just immediately transported back to that moment, hanging out with that one person, drinking hot chocolate, watching the Matrix movies, or playing video games.

I'm feeling super nostalgic for my high school friends and all the good memories we made. The trip with the band/chorus to Florida, all the musicals, jazz band, the Kennedy Center performance, the one day I skipped school (it was the most boring day of my life, I'm so glad I only skipped one day of high school), unending game nights, trips to the beach, all of our six flags trips, theaterfests and themed dress up nights, cast parties... I'm very lucky to still be friends with so many of the people that made those years. I'd like to think that because we all knew each other so young that we will never feel all that old... I still see so many of them through the prism of high school. That's not always a great thing, but it keeps me from that daily reminder that time flies by all too fast.

On that note, I wanted to leave you with my current favorite 'PowerUp' songs on my Nike+ app. These are getting me through when my knees are sore, I'm dead tired, or just in a funk. I've mentioned some before but the fact that they're still working for me speaks volumes!

1. Something Good Can Work - Two Door Cinema Club
I can't put my finger on why this gets me so pumped, part lyrics, part the sheer up-beatness of it all.

Or if you're looking for some mellow inspiration, here's a nice acoustic version....

2. Walk - Foo Fighters

The Foo Fighters are always awesome, but this song got me. I don't know if you guys remember but it was what was playing as I ran to and crossed the finish line of the first 10k I ever did, right at the bridge, speakers screaming "I'm running through the fire" and I just wanted to weep/laugh at how perfect it was... still gets me.

3. Can't Hold Us (feat. Ray Dalton) - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

The only downside to this song is that it makes me want to gesture and sing along and look a fool while running. (Edit: More a fool than I already look)

Also another excellent set which includes his other hits is his NPR Tiny Desk performance...

4. Raise the Dead - Phantom Planet

This is just my full on favorite right now. The lyrics are just right to get my re-motivated and the build-up... you just can't ask for more. The other songs get me pumped but this song pushes me to get back in the game, to get up and try again, to finish strong. 

And last but not least happy birthday to my stepmom Debbie who is right now enjoying the good island life in Hawaii! :)

"I never said I'd leave the city"

I'm well aware I'm not off to a great start with making regular posts this year... but that's ok. I've been focusing on some other areas. I have to remind myself that this is a blog meant to keep you guys updated on my life, not necessarily be the most entertaining thing ever on earth or a place to make a stand and preach about things. That reminder helps me feel less guilty about not being as present here as I could be. But now, prepare yourself for a lengthy recap post!

This past weekend was incredible. There are no words that can adequately express how happy I was the whole weekend. We took the red-eye in, arriving Friday morning, making a quick turnaround to go to Mom's exercise class midday (had to get my strength training day in!). Mom and I even made a quick dash to Wheaton Plaza and did a mad run through Target. I miss shopping time with girls, and especially shopping time with my mom. We like so many of the same knickknacks.

Lunch with Mom :)

Later we had visit to Ed's brother Rob and his wife Alexis (and I met Ed's - wait, now my! - beautiful niece Ellis) which was really nice. Rob, Ed and I had coffee together, catching up on all the big doings. Afterwards we had a chance to drive around the area we used to live in and grabbed a little Korean BBQ. Some things have changed, like the Tyson's Corner beltway area but... it's really exactly as I remember it. It all felt as familiar as if I was there yesterday. And for those of you who say I haven't been gone long enough to see a difference? I was stunned by the progress made on the metro line extensions and buildings that were not even close to standing when we left.

Saturday Ed came out running with me despite our exhaustion. He runs (literally) twice as fast as I do, so it's always very generous of him to run with me at my sloooow pace. He did help me shave off .12 off my time though! We then had breakfast with some of my friends: Michelle, Austin, Joe, and Evyan, at Eggspectation in Silver Spring. It was just so nice catching up and gossiping about what all our old high school friends are up to now. It's hard to believe some people are on their second kid, or famous, or married, or on their second degree/graduate school, or divorced, or living somewhere across the globe. It's almost like we're adults or something... yikes! I wish we could have stayed hanging out a bit longer, but we all had errands. I had to run to Bethesda where Mikyla at The Shop was going to style my hair for the Jazz Band Alumni performance that evening. She made me look fantastic and I loved my 'big Texas hair.' My sister was right, I probably could have asked for a bouffant and would've been in love with it as well. :)

The bigger the better!

From there I ran over to rehearsal where, I couldn't hide it, I was very nervous to see who would be there and to see if I could still pull it out of the hat (vocally). The band.... I can't begin to tell you how amazing the band was.... the sound nailed you to the back wall as you walked in, I was stunned. Thankfully I had come in time to hear the other two vocalists (wonderful) and support them in rehearsal. It all went by so fast and before I knew it I was home getting changed and then back out for the performance.

Rehearsal

There was a pizza buffet for the band people before the concert to catch up and network. It's a strange thing seeing people again after 9 years. People you saw everyday for multiple hours, and then nothingness, and all of a sudden there they are! Looking exactly the same. That's the part that gets me. No one looks different. Sure some of us have put on weight or colored our hair but honestly? You guys all still look the same to me. Hope that comes off as a compliment because that is exactly as it's intended.

The performance... was amazing. The bands, the honors and the alumni bands, were just incredible. It was surreal sitting in that theater again. So much history passed there for me. Watching Joan Rackey on stage took me right back to high school. I was so nervous and sweaty and ill... just like high school. :) And the music.... see this is why I have little faith in my ability to be a reviewer because in my mind I can hear the songs and am blown away all over again by the clear beautiful sound, but I just can't find the words to describe it. So, let me bow out here and just post some videos to speak for themselves!

"Over the Rainbow":

"Fly Me to the Moon":

I wanted to weep I was so happy to be up there again, with that incredible band and that incredible woman directing us. I've already told you how much I believe Joan Rackey deserves all the praise and gratitude that can possibly be heaped upon a teacher. She was gracious and funny and handled the whole evening with nonchalance.

Shirts for the Alumni Band

Gathering both groups to play together at the end

Afterwards we grabbed up as many people as we could, including our elementary school and middle school band teachers Ms. Mathis and Ms. Parks, and we hopped over to Savannah's for drinks and karaoke. Some of us were quite overwhelmed by the unusual set up of drinking with teachers from so many past school years. :) We sang and danced like crazy people and just had a wonderful time celebrating a wonderful evening. And yes I stole a bunch of these pictures from other photographers in the group so... thanks for taking great pictures for me! :)

Sunday I should have been up and running 3mi... but that just was not happening. I had hit my sleep deprivation wall and was on the verge of hallucinating (seriously, later that day at the airport I came out of the bathroom looking to meet up with Ed, and although he was maybe 15 feet from me, I did not recognize him and looked around and past him maybe 10 times - he was looking at me like I was having a stroke). So we drove up and stopped in to see Omi for a short visit. I'm really glad we got to see her considering we probably won't be back in the area until August. Flying back to CA was endlessly long, and I'm sure it felt even more so just because it was such quiet downtime in comparison to the riot the rest of the weekend had been.

Being home is already a bit of a downer just being away from all the people we love very much. Ed and I both agreed this was one of the best visits home we've ever had. Thank you to Joan for asking me to sing and for pulling such an incredible band together, it was an honor to be part of it. Thank you all for reminding us why it's so amazing to come home again and what a perfect group of friends and family we have.

P.S. Happy Birthday to my Dad today! :)

"Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away!"

Oy. Ya'll I've been unwell. And I'm still struggling with it. I kind of wish I had that crazy cough-flu-sickness from last year because this stuff, I can't do this. Those of you who get headaches, you have my ever lasting empathy. I never get headaches. I still don't think I've ever had a migraine... although maybe that's what this is and I just have no idea. I've been suffering from a massive headache that lasted through the past week, along with what I'm pretty sure was an ear infection for the past few days. It's just been awful, hard to look at the computer, hard to read, hard to have any lights on. And seriously, I'm a pain baby. That being said, I'm also afraid of drugs and don't like to take too much so I just end up laying on the couch moaning. It's great fun for Ed. He especially loves when my mind goes to that hypochondriac place it adores playing around in, and I rant and rave about how I'm like Hillary Clinton and the possible blood clot in my head is scaring me into telling him I love him every five minutes and how grateful I am for the life we have together. Poor Edward.

We've managed to have a pretty good week and weekend... my training for the half-marathon was seriously delayed but in the past couple days I've started running through a bit more and it feels amazing to get out there again. Using the Nike Run app is pretty cool too, when people 'like' it or comment on it on Facebook, I hear cheers during the run. Thanks Jeanne for introducing me to it! One of the days it was dreary and raining and that is perfection to me. It looks like a scene straight out of the Moors and I expect to hear Mr. Rochester calling to me! And the best part? No one on earth is out there but me. And Ed, but he runs twice as fast as I do so he's not out there for long. So I can be Jane as long as I want and I won't run into anyone to judge me. Especially when they see my crazy hat hair...

Ed and I tried a new place for lunch this week, Mongolian Hot Pot in Cupertino. I've never had fondue or anything similar to this so I thought it was highly amusing (and delicious). My favorite part? The mushrooms. So many delicious mushrooms. We'll definitely be back here.

We also made sure we stopped by the Tech Museum because it was the last weekend the MythBusters exhibit was in town. This was SO much fun. I wish we had kids to take there because they would have been ridiculously entertained. They had a ton of the props from the show and mannequins set up in the cast's outfits. One of my favorite props was the giant duct tape canoe they made and the tornado shelter. Past the props they had several stations set up to test out myths ourselves. There was the raindrop test where you could run through and walk through and then see who was wetter, the driving blind test where someone had to verbally guide you (I drove, Ed guided - I felt a LOT of curbs, heard crashing noises and he was telling me to take a lot of dramatic turns, so I think that means I did well...), the killer card throwing, the dodge a bullet test, the airplane on a conveyor belt model, and the tablecloth removal trick test.

He made it in just over a minute! You can't see it but he has shin guards on as well.

There was a little light in front of us that when it flashed you had to jump out of the way and it would time how long it took you to move. Saying I was slow is being nice. But I sure jumped with dramatic ineffective flair!

Yes, that 5 mph is my card toss. It wouldn't read most of them but Ed did pretty well as you can see below.

Oh I forgot about this one below! Too bad we didn't come here more often... this would be a great American Ninja Warrior practice area. Gotta keep up that grip strength!

The rest of the museum was also fantastic, with cool outer-space related set ups (including a jet pack simulation!) and a section related to Silicon Valley and the creation of computer chips. I can't follow most of it but hey, you learn something new every day. 

We kept a low profile the rest of the past week. I haven't even been reading thanks to this silly head problem. We met up with Ed's friend Brendan who was driving through the area and his girlfriend. It was really fantastic seeing friendly faces.

This weekend however, is a big, big weekend! There will be a concert at Albert Einstein High School in Kensington, MD to celebrate and honor Joan Rackey and her incomparable contribution to the community and the lives of so many people - including my own. The current honors jazz band will play and then a group of alumni will come on stage to play. I'll be singing with the group and I am beyond excited. Joan is an incredible person who has always been there for me and for anyone that is struggling. She has helped my family, many of my friends... It is what we as a community should do, to show up and tell her how much better our lives are for having her in it. My fondest memories of high school are my experiences with jazz band. I'm sure I've mentioned it on here before but Joan is one of the most important people in my life, (hell, she provided my wedding cake!), and we all know how many lives she has touched and improved. For those of you from jazz band or band or theater, please come out and celebrate with us. Here is all the info from the flyer:

EINSTEIN ALUMNI JAZZ CONCERT

For the benefit of AEHS’ Instrumental Music Program

Saturday, January 12^th at Albert Einstein High School at 7pm

  Featuring musicians from Einstein’s award-winning jazz program—

—many of them graduates of your school as well—

Under the direction of the great Joan Rackey,

AEHS Band Director for 38 years—and counting!

The Einstein All-Star Alumni Band is likely to include:

Bass: Adam Neely, ’06, Elliott Seppa, ’09, Milo Johnson, ‘11

Piano: Jeb Patton, ’92, Jon Lieder, ‘12

Trombone: Dave Cannon ’78, Daniel Toresky, ‘11

Vocalists: Carly Neely,’04, Tina Termini, ’07;  Guitar: Gavin Fallow, ‘99

Saxophone: Simon Lahn, Joe Williams, Jacob Teichroew,’01,

Adam Kinner, ’02, Elijah Balbed, ’08; Percussion: Justin Wolf, ‘01

Trumpet: Andy Leach, ’64, Rick Gordon, ’78,

Richard Kessler, ’79, Max Kuzymak, ‘08

With guest artists Doug Elliot, Rick Penix, and Paul Carr!

Tickets: $10 adults, $5 students. Available at the door.

Sponsored by PACE, the Performing Arts Coalition of Einstein

I've got a couple videos on my youtube page if you want to check out the band... it's not the most recent, and the recordings are shaky but it's something if you want to listen. She's an incredible woman and we should all turn out to show our appreciation for all those times she helped us in music, sports or our personal lives. I know so many people who struggled with a song or with school and she was right there trying to walk them through it slowly and surely. This is the very least we can do to say thank you. :)

Reverb12 Day 5 - Letting Go

For the month of December I'm following a prompt-a-day format that I found on a blog I thoroughly enjoy, Tenaciously Yours. Explanation of #Reverb12 can be found here.

5. Dec 5th:  Letting go: For next year, I’m letting go of…

I'm letting go of holding on. 
Holding onto: 

The idea that losing weight is the be all and end all of being attractive. 
The idea that having a job makes you a successful adult. 
The memories of all the times I've embarrassed myself or disappointed others, in work, on stage, in school, in relationships. 
The concerns over what everyone around me thinks of my life. 
The fear I've failed to live up to the expectations people had of me when I was in high school. 
The idea that my 'best me' was in high school. 
The jealousy of others happiness and success.
The worry that there is nothing I can do that will be new and unique and good enough.
The anger I feel when I judge myself to be less-than.
The all consuming fear I have of illness or that something is medically wrong with me.
The fear of getting hurt. 


I know that by letting go of these ideas, at least in part, can allow me to do the following:

Be happier with my body as it is, and lose weight to be healthier, to have healthier children.
Be accomplished without employment.
Be kinder to my current and past self.
Be gentler to my friends and family no matter what their opinions.
Be accepting of myself now, not the self I could have been.
Be mindful that I am still the same person I was in high school. I have not "lost" that.
Be a better, more loving friend, wife, and relative.
Be open to the possibility of unique ideas, that while experiences are shared, it's only me bouncing around in this head of mine, and that is enough in itself.
Be freer to make mistakes without fear of punishment from myself.
Be healthier by fostering positive thoughts about my health and body.
Be able to, without the paralyzing fear of falling and getting hurt, ride a bike again! :)

The end of this year has mostly been about reflection and being tied up in my own head. This next year holds some big changes for us and I'm sure I'll need to change my 'letting go's' to more physical, external tasks that I will need to just say no to. But for now, I'll keep them as little guides to being a better me this next year.