Reverb12 Day 5 - Letting Go

For the month of December I'm following a prompt-a-day format that I found on a blog I thoroughly enjoy, Tenaciously Yours. Explanation of #Reverb12 can be found here.

5. Dec 5th:  Letting go: For next year, I’m letting go of…

I'm letting go of holding on. 
Holding onto: 

The idea that losing weight is the be all and end all of being attractive. 
The idea that having a job makes you a successful adult. 
The memories of all the times I've embarrassed myself or disappointed others, in work, on stage, in school, in relationships. 
The concerns over what everyone around me thinks of my life. 
The fear I've failed to live up to the expectations people had of me when I was in high school. 
The idea that my 'best me' was in high school. 
The jealousy of others happiness and success.
The worry that there is nothing I can do that will be new and unique and good enough.
The anger I feel when I judge myself to be less-than.
The all consuming fear I have of illness or that something is medically wrong with me.
The fear of getting hurt. 


I know that by letting go of these ideas, at least in part, can allow me to do the following:

Be happier with my body as it is, and lose weight to be healthier, to have healthier children.
Be accomplished without employment.
Be kinder to my current and past self.
Be gentler to my friends and family no matter what their opinions.
Be accepting of myself now, not the self I could have been.
Be mindful that I am still the same person I was in high school. I have not "lost" that.
Be a better, more loving friend, wife, and relative.
Be open to the possibility of unique ideas, that while experiences are shared, it's only me bouncing around in this head of mine, and that is enough in itself.
Be freer to make mistakes without fear of punishment from myself.
Be healthier by fostering positive thoughts about my health and body.
Be able to, without the paralyzing fear of falling and getting hurt, ride a bike again! :)

The end of this year has mostly been about reflection and being tied up in my own head. This next year holds some big changes for us and I'm sure I'll need to change my 'letting go's' to more physical, external tasks that I will need to just say no to. But for now, I'll keep them as little guides to being a better me this next year.