Bump Update - Week 36

These weeks are flying by. It's amazing. It's not even like we're very busy, which is usually when time feels like it's going faster than usual. I'm feeling very pregnant these days and Ed is being more and more helpful. He'll take over when I just can't be on my feet anymore because my back siezes up. He'll have my teas ready when I'm up in the morning. And sweetest of all, he hasn't complained once about all my crazy tossing and turning and waking every two hours. I couldn't be luckier really.

He's holding up really well. I think we're both getting more anxious. Work is going well and so is his health. I think he's ready for this baby to get here to start feeling out our new routines. Last night, I was thinking about how this past year has been the most regimented of my life and how much having a routine has really benefited me. I have to give Ed credit for that. Hopefully, he'll be able to instill some order to the insanity I've heard parenting can be.

Anywho, it's been quiet on the homefront. I've finished a couple more books. None that I'm in love with but I had no idea how deeply entrenched Billy Crystal is in Hollywood, so I enjoyed learning new things about him in Still Foolin' 'Em. Still working on Dance With Dragons, and I've also started up with The Impossible Lives of Greta Wells by Andrew Sean Greer and Dark Tide by Elizabeth Haynes. 

 

I've read two of Haynes other books, only one of which really gripped me, but I'd still recommend them for anyone that likes dark thrillers, very much in the vein of Gone Girl, Dark Places, and Sharp Objects. 

Mom is still visiting with my favorite sister and niece and I'm enjoying every facetime session. She's growing so faaaaaast. It's amazing. I keep saying she seems like a 'real' baby now. Noticing more things and really interacting.

Never ceases to get me excited for the coming months. :) Now for the bump!

All black again - this is what 'dressing up' looks like now. Essentially, I just blow dried my hair...

How far along? 36 Weeks

How Big Is Baby? A canary melon, about 5.75 lbs

Sleep: Some nights I'm getting really lucky and only getting up 3 times and still falling back asleep. Some nights I'm up at 3am. On the bright side, I'm getting a lot of reading done in these wee hours.

Best moment this week: Our homevisit from the midwife. Imagining where things may take place and preparing all the last little things. Discussing when to call to say things are happening. Starting to feel verrrrry real.

Movement: This baby feels mighty pointy these days! All elbows and knees or something, always getting my on the soft sides of my belly. No rib kicks, just side activity. And there is certainly no decrease in activity - still as nutty as always.

Symptoms: This carpal tunnel stuff is no fun. I'm glad it's not painful but boy it's annoying to have my hands go all tingly when I'm driving or sleeping or trying to read or even holding my phone up to text.

Food cravings/aversions: Just eatin' less still. No huge cravings. I am really excited for Indian food for my birthday though. 

Gender: My cousin Kate asked me what I would do if the baby came out a different gender than what we're expecting. I said we'd be great because so much of the stuff I have is gender neutral and all the colors of the rainbow. The only pastels I have are hand me downs from Ck. And since we have both names picked out, it'd be an easy accommodation.

Belly Button in or out? I guess we won't be having an outtie here. Just a very shallow innie. No outtie and no linea nigra either.

What I miss: Nothing really this week... Maybe a feeling of calm? I've been a bit more anxious as we get closer and closer to this baby being here with us.

What I am looking forward to: My birthday! I love birthdays :) This will be my last birthday sans baby so I intend on living it up - as much as a giant pregnant lady can... going out for dinner and getting a massage!

Funny moment of the week: At the potluck for the Chinese New Year, two of Ed's coworkers (who are the sweetest), took turns rubbing my belly and yelling at it: "hello baby!" So the baby would recognize their voices when he/she comes out :)

Labor Signs: Nope nope nope. Haven't even had braxton hicks in awhile... all quiet there.

Weekly Wisdom: No big lessons this week. I did find a quotation from my binder of materials from my midwife: "The contractions cannot be bigger than you because they are you." I have no idea why that's speaking to me this week. I'm of two minds about what is and isn't 'you' in terms of your physical being. But when it comes to labor, that's just resonating with me for now. We'll see when the big day comes!

Milestones: Found a pediatrician! I hate phone calls and talking to strangers so I'm proud of myself for sitting down and making progress. I know that will be a big challenge for me as a parent - actually putting myself out there. Gotta do what I gotta do though.

And with that I leave you with a little Emilia for the day! I love to facetime with this cutie :)

Bump Update - Week 35

Very quiet week this time around. Not much going on. Things are all settled and it's been a real waiting game now. Just enjoying these last few weeks to ourselves before baby and family all join us. Ed is workin' hard and continuing treatments. We don't have another dr's visit for him until around my birthday so it's more of the same until then.

Recieved our second box from Full Circle, this time it's the size we'd really be getting, the small Seed box. Still seems like a good amount of organic food that would've taken a huge bite out of the budget otherwise. I'm pretty excited for the broccoli and rainbow carrots. We'll see how it holds up!

I'm reading as much as I can but, not finishing much. I keep adding more and more to my currently reading list. Right now I'm loving Billy Crystal's book Still Foolin' 'Em and the new Helen Fielding book, Mad About the Boy. 

I'm still determined to finish A Dance With Dragons so I've picked up the audiobook to help me ease into it.

I will defeat you!

I'm going to do a post about things that have happened to me during this pregnancy that I wasn't warned about, things I was warned about that didn't happen, or things that didn't go as I expected, so that's on the docket for future posts. Things like swelling, stretch marks, bigger breasts, mood swings, cravings, morning sickness, weight gain, baby activity, exercise, diet, supplement intake... lots of little things - not all pretty or exciting so feel free to skip over it if you're not interested when we get there. :)

Small aside... Why do people have such trouble listening? When I said I wanted a home birth, I was told maybe you should consider a hospital birth with a midwife. But... I don't want to go to a hospital unless something is wrong... When I said I feel like the baby might come early, I was told all moms think that - they're all so sick of being pregnant. But... I love being pregnant. Bring on 3 more months! It's just such a strange thing, this whole second guessing what people say. I'm certainly not the first lady to be pregnant, but not every pregnancy is the same, especially a woman's feelings about the pregnancy. When I said I wanted to do cloth diapers, I was told it's not worth it and it's too hard. And you know what, they could all be right. I could end up in the hospital and this baby could come late and cloth diapers might be miserable but, why even express that? So you can 'be right?' Whatever makes the person feel better I guess. It doesn't make me mad, but it does baffle me. I hope I can be a more conscientious listener in the future.

Anywho, I'll stop with the tirades for now and get to the good stuff. Bump update!

I'm obviously not nursing yet, but this nursing top is AMAZING. Glamourmom full bust long tank top. It has a built in bra that actually works. For those that have always scoffed at 'built-ins,' this one is a miracle. Hopefully it holds up once baby arrives...

How far along? 35 Weeks

How Big Is Baby? 18 in Honeydew melon ~ 5.25lbs

Sleep: Oh sleep. I miss you. Remember when we were close and you came easy and stayed for long, long periods of time? I loved those days. They were very, very nice. I'm well aware that those days may have left for many years.

Not having trouble sleeping here...

Best moment this week: Prenatal Village Care had a follow up session after our regular group where we got to meet with other moms and catch up with people who are no longer attending the village care. So nice to ask questions and see another tiny baby other than Emilia.

Movement: It's like a competition is going on in there... how much movement can we squeeze into the day and night.

Symptoms: Mostly the carpal tunnel like symptoms going on in my hands, mostly my right hand. Also a weird bout of dizziness... but things are still pretty stable. Still no visible swelling thank goodness.

Food cravings/aversions: I'm loving blueberry muffins these days. Weird because I'm not a blueberry person. Otherwise I find myself desperately thirsty but having no room for water intake. Often my mind translates that into craving juice or fruit, but thanks to all that dieting I did before hand, I'm pretty conscious of it just being thirst and not actual hunger. Figure I'm saving myself from some sugar bombs at least. 

Gender: Ed's nurse made a comment about how it must be a boy because girls don't kick and punch as much as this baby seems to!

Belly Button in or out? Maintaining that innie, although it is getting a 'lived in' look. I can't think of any other way to describe it.

What I miss: Fooood! All the foods and drink I haven't been having and large volumes of them. I crave pancakes but I know I could probably only eat one of the plate sized pancakes they serve at our favorite breakfast place.

What I am looking forward to: Everything! Things are ramping up - next weekend is a party with Ed's coworkers, the following is a work holiday party in San Francisco, following that is my birthday and our last group session before the baby's due date... it's all happening so fast. :) 

Funny moment of the week: At one point in group this week our midwife asked who the next 'due' ladies were and I was looking around for whoever that was. Turns out that it's me! Well, me and another woman who is due the day after me. So weird, I feel like we were the newbies just yesterday. But I look at these other women who are 16 weeks and 14 weeks and all I can think is that they have a looooong way to go.

Labor Signs: Nope nope nope. 

Weekly Wisdom: This little blog post I found on stopping the 'mommy wars' - http://herscoop.com/posts/empowering-photo-series/

Milestones: Finally looking down the barrel of the last month ~ 35 Days left. This pregnancy has flown by and I've already started thinking about how I will miss having this little nut kicking and dancing away in there. Even when it's a 3 am dance party. I think I had one or two of those in my life so baby's allowed to follow suit. When you think about it, you only get 4ish months or so of actually feeling the baby. Too too short if you ask me.

Bump Update - Week 33

Been preparing a great deal, settling the dust. The nursery is 99% complete and labor supplies 90% collected.

Decided on a changing table, hung up some lights, added the mobile...

The remaining 10% is mostly the food and drink that we'll need to keep stocked in the last two weeks around my due date. House prep is coming together, installing more hooks to hang things and keep them off the floors, securing shelves to walls. I've been hanging out baby gear so it can air out or get cleaned. My new favorite activity is clearing out junk drawers. I have these beautiful glass containers we received as a wedding gift and since then I have crammed them full of workout gear, pens, pins, wires and chargers. I cleaned out those jars and 4 other boxes. While it's nice having all these clear spaces... I now have no idea what to do with them. 

I also gave a try to this organic produce delivery company, Full Circle. There was a living social deal so I figured why not! They only deliver to Alaska, Idaho, Washington State and the Bay Area - goofy array of places, I know. Organic produce can really kill your budget so I wanted to see if this was a more efficient (and seasonal) way of obtaining good food stuffs. This is the big 'harvest' box and we'd just get the smallest box option which is about a quarter of this volume. So far so good, quality is excellent as is the amount... we'll see what the smaller box looks like! Ed pointed out how I'll have to be a bit more adventurous based on what comes in each box. Looks like this box will force me to find a couple parsnip recipes :)

In other news, I was talking to Ed about how big a disappointment the whole 'camaraderie of pregnant women' has been. I say this in full awareness of my own strangeness, but pregnancy makes these women and men completely insane. I don't understand any of them. Obsessing over the perfect diaper, the perfect pacifier, the perfect baby sign language book. We've been doing our research and are making choices too, but I'd never claim we're choosing the 'perfect' things or even the 'best' - just what we're comfortable with.  Our midwife talks about it as a 'tribe mentality' where some women need you to agree that their way is the best so they can feel validated. I prefer reading these cross cultural parenting books to see how many different ways things can be done (see How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm and Bringing Up Bebe to name a few of the hundreds out there). There are 8 million ways to raise a baby, and nothing wrong with the majority of them.

I just thought with such a common experience, I'd find more people to talk and relate to - it's been the complete opposite. So far we've found some common ground with couples in the midwifery group (thank god), but in this childbirth prep class, online forums and even prenatal yoga... no connection, only misunderstanding and bewilderment. Still holding out hope that changes.

The birth class was pretty interesting. We're some of the younger people there. Poor Ed, he's been reading all the details in the baby books while I've been glossing over much of the nitty gritty, so he's getting a double dose of the information. I'm glad we're taking the class. At the very least, because it's a small group (only 6 couples), I'm practicing voicing more of my feelings and opinions without fear of of others judgment. It's all part of the Daring Greatly book I'm still reading and digesting. That's my goal for this year, to just approach things from a 'beginner's mind' and not to get so frustrated so quickly with things that don't come easily to me.

Enough talky, talky... Bump time!

How far along? 33 Weeks

How Big Is Baby? 17 inch pineapple, 4.25 lbs ish

Sleep: Still rising every 2 hours or so. Really hard to move around at a good clip. I'm getting pretty cumbersome. 

Best moment this week: All the boxes from Mom's house arriving! So now I'm inundated with things from the baby shower and I'm in laundry up to my knees, but it's wonderful. I was eagerly awaiting their arrival.

Movement: This baby has found my soft spot finally. It's the left side of my belly and boy, does Baby looooove to kick and wiggle right there. I've been pleading with Baby for more movement anywhere else to give me a break. It doesn't hurt, but it's similar to hitting your funny bone. Ed gets to watch more and more crazy movement from the outside. 

Symptoms: Tired, tired, tired. I'm ready for my first nap around 930 or 10 and for bed around 5pm most days.

Food cravings/aversions: No cravings or aversions, just no space. Appetite is definitely waning. 

Gender: What's the old wives tale about where I'm carrying? This whole pregnancy has been quite low. I'm a little envious of women who have those crazy high riding bumps that look like they just stick straight out. According to a list of old wives tales my dry skin, low carrying, meat/dairy cravings, and healthy hair mean I'm having a boy...

Belly Button in or out? The shallowest of shallow innie while standing, outie while sitting.

What I miss: This is a funny one, but I miss amusement parks. We watched The Way Way Back the other night (highly recommend, great movie), which takes place at the beach and largely at a water park. I realized that for the foreseeable future, I won't get to spend a day riding roller coasters, eating funnel cake, swimming in the wave pool and getting sunburned and sweaty. Makes me appreciate all those summer days with friends and school trips during Theaterfest so much more.

What I am looking forward to: Eating to my heart's desire and getting back to some hearty exercise. 

Funny moment of the week: There were several questions and comments that were so wild in our class that I wish I could share them here but I know I should keep them within the confines of the class. All of my hardest laughs came from the Golden Globes and from America's Funniest Videos - yes that show is still on and they play new episodes all the time!

Labor Signs: Nada

Weekly Wisdom: If you're taking measures for your health, you cannot stop when you see results. You've got to just keep on going. For me, it's taking baths and supplements. The aches and pains may feel "solved," but if you stop treatment, they're going to come back. Stick with the program!

Milestones: Nothing big for baby, but a big one for Ed! He went back for his first day of work this past Thursday! He's feeling good about getting back to old routines. He's not back to biking to work but he looks forward to when he can do that again. 

Bump Update - Week 28

Nothing exciting to report so here goes a basic recap of the normality...

Christmas shopping is DONE!

Hello Target during holiday season, I almost forgot you are a nightmare.

I don't know why I was so worried this year... maybe because we've had such extraordinary kindness sent our way by so many people. We both feel so indebted to so many family members, friends and coworkers, who were hugely helpful over the past couple months. Family and Ed have been asking me what I want for Christmas and for the first time, I'm struggling with picking stuff for me. All I've had on the brain are house and baby things we could use. If you were to pull up my Amazon homepage, you'd see it littered with deals for the following: cat food, biodegradable trash bags, bulk white vinegar, recycled paper towels, baby onesies, workout clothes (from when I was running) and board books for baby. Lots of really exciting things as you can see. 

Things are really good... same old, same old for these days. Ed's having his treatments weekly. We're both trying to spend regular time in the gym. It's been tooooo cold for swimming lately. Nothing new to report on the health front, everything is still amazingly calm and normal. Thank goodness. 

I've been making progress on my reading goals, total of 65 now... the odds are very slim that I will make the goal of 70... I did finish Visitation Street and The Night Guest, both very interesting and enjoyable reads. Visitation Street in particular made me almost miss Maryland summers - sticky, oppressive and thick with noise. Summers are too quite out here. No cicadas, no crickets, and no fireflies decorating the evenings. I'll let you know if any of the other books jump out at me. I've added in a rotation of parenting books now too... I won't bore you with even one sentence reviews of those!

Christmas cards are mostly sent out. Thank you notes are halfway done. I've written them for gifts we've received so far but I wanted to decorate them myself with tools I left at Mom's in Maryland, so I have to wait a liiiiiittle bit longer for those to be sent out. I love writing notes. I need to get back into the swing of writing letters, but I cover so much in here and have so few people who also like writing letters... Such a shame.

Now for the bump!

How far along? 28 Weeks

How Big Is Baby? 14.8 inch Chinese cabbage, about 2.25 lbs (Where on earth is this app getting this crazy specific numbers?!)

Sleep: I've been doing this new thing... well, it's not new, but I only just became aware of it... I make these loud sudden noises as I'm falling asleep. It's like a closed mouth yelp. And it's really loud. It makes Ed jump and it's even starting to spook me. I have no idea why I do it, but it's getting pretty consistent. I usually do it falling asleep but the other morning I actually woke myself up making the same noise. Poor Ed. Between my tossing, turning, weird yelping, and general inability to move in a graceful way, Ed's a real trooper. :)

Best moment this week: Ed hit another milestone in therapy - a little jogging! We're not talking anything crazy or sustained, but for a few moments Ed got a light jog happening. He's still far from running or jogging like I was when I was out there... but hey, it's an exciting step forward!

Movement: Like whoa. Tons of moving all around, and because baby is so big, I'll get a kick in the ribs and a stomp on the bladder all at the same time. Yay! :)

Symptoms: Round ligament pain. Not. Fun. It doesn't seem to like me walking, even though I'm walking so slowly. Oh well. Just trying to drink water and stretch to get things to relax. 

Food cravings/aversions: I am not enjoying salty foods at all. I feel like everything tastes salty these days. I'm craving fruit a lot and plowing through apples and clementines like it's my job.

Gender: It's amazing how people will guess what I'm having based on the way I'm carrying. And they get it right about 50% of the time! :-P 

Belly Button in or out? Same weirdness, every day a little shallower!

What I miss: Sleeping for longer than 2-3 hours before waking up with that stiff achy feeling when you are in one position for too long.

What I am looking forward to: One week until our trip to the east coast! I'm bouncing off the walls with excitement. Next week's post will be very short because the following post will be cram packed full of holiday stuff! 

Funny moment of the week: Along with the sleep noises are some craaaazy dreams. In one I gave birth to a half bird/half human baby 3 months early. In another Ed and I were in a version of the amazing race. In another I was on Glee, got in a fight with Unique and ended up smashing an avocado in her face. (I have no idea, people). Ed says I'm adding in words now too. The other night he swears I called out 'Northman!' Alas, I couldn't remember Eric Northman making an appearance - that dream is lost to me. I'm sure Ed is not as disappointed as I am. :)

Labor Signs: nah

Weekly Wisdom: Naps are for winners! I'd been going without naps the past month or so but suddenly it seems absolutely necessary that I go down for 30 mins around 3 pm everyday. I am going to enjoy this while I can. 

Milestones:  Third trimester! I don't know where the time is going... it still feels like time is flying by. I've yet to hit that 'pregnancy is miserable' mark - here's hoping it doesn't happening until the day before this baby makes a grand entrance!

And here's Emilia with her most dedicated babysitter!

Bump Update - Week 26

Really quick post this week. Things are all good here. I've been reading a ton, trying to catch up on my reading challenge of 70 books for the year. I'm at 58... last year my challenge was to get to 60. I may have to settle for a final count of 65... fingers crossed! I'm working on Visitation Street by Ivy Pochoda right now.

I'm listening to The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling and I'm hoping to get my hands on Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls by David Sedaris. 

I refuse to read his books because while they would still be enjoyable, listening to him read his essays takes it to a whole different level of hilarity.

We went to see Hunger Games: Catching Fire in the theater. It was worth it, good theater movie. I was surprised how much I had forgotten from the books... that being said, I liked each book less and less as the series went on so I really shouldn't be too surprised. 

I've been trying to swim about every other day and that's going well. Makes me feel a bit like I did when I was really into running. My bathing suit is starting to protest my belly's growing size. I'm hoping Ed will let me know before it pops right off of me. Ed's been keeping active as well. He was cleared to try riding his bike a bit and has been testing that out. Small steps, but it's hugely freeing. He's added in occupational therapy to his scheduled therapies so we're out and about a little more. 

We were up to some other shenanigans this week but I'm going to save them for next week's big holiday post. That's about all for now!

Bump time! 

How far along? 26 Weeks

How Big Is Baby? A 14 inch hot house cucumber - I eat these all the time... imagining something that large goofing around in my belly is pretty freaky. When I imagine baby, it's much smaller. So hard to fathom.

Sleep: I'm feeling a bit more of my size when I attempt to turn over in bed. I'm getting a great upper body workout using our bed frame to hoist myself from side to side.

Best moment this week: I'm holding off on this section until next week's post to include in our Turkey Day recap! 

Movement: Baby likes to make a statement. If we're watching something scary it's like baby knows and will try to freak out right at the perfect time to scare the bejesus out of me. Baby has Ed's sense of humor apparently! 

Symptoms: Heartburn, as usual. Tailbone pain comes and goes. I travel with pillows now and I've set up a throne on the couch that involves multiple pillows. It's a bit ridiculous looking but it's getting the job done.

Food cravings/aversions: Pickles and the smell of mole or enchilada sauce are on my no go list. Craving wise? I'm still eating pretty much anything. I was desperate for strawberry cheesecake ice cream this week. Thank goodness for a sale on ice cream :) 

Gender: Can we talk about how adorable all baby clothing is? Boy or girl, we're looking at the most irresistible striped, colorful, patterned craziness and I just do not know what to do with myself! Damn you black friday temptations! Especially Old Navy. You just don't know what you do to me, sale section.

Belly Button in or out? In... but it's starting to get a little freaky. When I'm on my back and try to roll from side to side, it sooooorta pops out. Eeep!

What I miss: Not bumping into things. I'm constantly underestimating my belly and knocking into doorways, chairs, the fridge door, etc.

What I am looking forward to: Heading over to see Dad & Debbie for Thanksgiving! Which means decorating the apartment for Christmas will be close behind. 

Funny moment of the week: Apparently pregnancy has made me very defensive. Ed did a normal 'scare' where he snapped my book shut, startling me. I nearly punched him out. He was pretty shocked how angry I got and I came down pretty quick, but I felt a bit like Amy Poehler on Ellen... she does not like to be scared:

Labor Signs: nope

Weekly Wisdom: It really isn't worth it to beat yourself up when you forget things or say the wrong word or rerun your mistakes over and over in your head. Just sucks the life and joy right out of you. When that rerun reel starts, try your best to wiggle your toes, recognize it's happening, let it go and move on to the next thought.  

Milestones: I've passed the 100 days left mark! 100 still seems like a good deal of days so I'm not feeling any pressure, but when I start thinking it's only a couple months, that gets me a little keyed up. 

And your weekly dose of my crazy-haired, sweet niece: 

Summertime Running & Reading

Happy Fourth!

Running in summertime... always a challenge. On the bright side, literally, the sun is up and at 'em at 5am here. Seriously, it's so bright it's unreal. It also stays light until 9pm.

It's a surreal thing. But on the bright side, it makes for some super productive days. I can start reading at 6am and my 3pm lull can be shoved aside by a quick walk outside. Of course, that walk might be a 80 degree walk which I certainly don't do well with, but that's alright. Don't think I don't hear you Marylanders saying, well here it would be a 90 degree or higher walk with 90% humidity! Yes, yes, I remember. And I don't miss it one bit. And unfortunately, it's been more like 90 degree walks here lately... what is that about?

I stumbled upon a blog that poked fun at women who wear workout capris even in the hottest weather. I certainly fall in that category - note my extra sexy capri leg tan line. To them I say, you must not know the pain of chafing. But, in light of their argument that it must make you unbearably hot, I have started looking for some shorts. Like these Lucy Endurance Long Run Shorts - but they seem to be out of stock, or only stocked in x-small. Curses! I'm waiting on a pair of Under Armour long shorts, but their definition of long is 7 inches so... we'll see. Anyone have any recommendations for long-ish fitted running shorts?

Running otherwise is in a bit of a lull. I seem to have hit a plateau in my motivation. I have enough to continue running, but not enough to push through to improve my runs. It'll come around, I know, but for now it's a bit of a battle to get a simple 2 to 3 miles every other day. Despite the lack of motivation to push through my runs, I'm still doing other exercises so, there's that. According to RunKeeper, I'm at the very start of my training for the next half marathon so, I'm not too worried.


Now, as for reading in the summertime, that is no challenge at all! I've got a couple recommendations up my sleeve actually.

First, Jagannath. 

This collection of short stories from Swedish writer Karin Tidbeck is just magical. It's no secret I've a great affinity for all things Scandinavian, so I was easily pulled in, but for those of you that never got down with the land of lingonberries and IKEA, think of this collection like a modern day Grimm's tales. I can't assure you that all the stories are set in 'modern' time because some of the stories lack time, sometimes figuratively and sometimes literally. They are encapsulated in their own little universe. Each story is so peculiar, you find yourself transported and in some cases mystified. Not everything wraps up neatly, nor is anything really pleasant, but it is so refreshing to dive in here and take a break from every expectation you have of the world. I would describe or explain more but honestly, there just aren't words for her creativity.


Second, The Dude and the Zen Master by Jeff Bridges and Bernie Glassman.

I struggle with Zen thought. I don't understand philosophy. It gives me a massive headache. I can appreciate it, and I admire those who can wrap their head around thought experiments, but I have never felt as dumb as I did in my Intro to Philosophy class at UMD. But - I badly wish I did understand. And so, here I am with this book. I've never seen The Big Lebowski so take heart that it's not vital you've seen the movie to glean something from this work. As one (negative) reviewer on GoodReads put it, 'it's basically two guys sitting around bullshitting.' I would amend that to say it's two very intelligent, thoughtful, experienced guys sitting around bullshitting. Bridges cites personal experience and films he's worked on, while Glassman often brings in the deeper zen meaning.For me, comparing zen thought to casual experience and to movies makes it blessedly accessible. This may not be the path to enlightenment for everyone, but if you're like me and struggle with bending your mind around 'abiding no where is abiding everywhere,' this may be the book for you. Hell, they have a couple pages devoted to the zen in 'Row Row Row Your Boat.' Now that's on my level.

Third, Me Before You by Jojo Moyes.

This book was an easy, pleasant read. It's long, the hardcover being 369 pages, but I finished it in a day. This book is for those romantics who enjoy the whole Pride & Prejudice/Pygmalion dynamic. As I read it I kept thinking - I wonder if at any point she stopped to worry that she was writing the same story line that has been written a million times before? (A thought that plagues my writing daily) But despite that, this book has wonderful characters and the family dynamics will be painfully familiar to many. The ending certainly doesn't drag on, with the meat of the book lasting about 350 pages, devoting very little time to wrapping it up. All that being said, I crushed this book in a day because I sincerely didn't want to put it down. It had been on my to-read list for ages, and now that I've finally consumed it, I encourage you to take it on vacation with you. Great summer material.

I'm reading a two other books currently that I'm really enjoying but those will have to wait for next week!

Finds

Once again I'm delaying that post about our vacation - a great deal of the pictures are on Ed's computer so I've got to wait until he returns home. My memory is sadly deficient, I hardly know what he's got on there now and it's only been a couple weeks!

Instead I wanted a write about a couple things really catching my attention.

To Read: Rapture Practice by Aaron Hartzler

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15790822-rapture-practice

This memoir of a life in a highly religious family is riveting. Maybe it wouldn't be if I grew up in that, but I find this kind of story so interesting. Add to that Hartzler's realization that he is gay, and it makes for some really gut twisting moments where you just want to reach through the pages and help this poor conflicted kid. 

GoodReads teases it with: "Aaron Hartzler grew up gay in a home where he was taught that at any moment Jesus might come down in the twinkling of an eye, and scoop his whole family up to Heaven." 

I think that's a bit misleading, because he doesn't come to understand his feelings about being gay until pretty far into the book and that statement glosses over the challenges of his life separate of sexuality. We're talking the music he listens to, movies, friends, clothes, obedience to his parents... everything is touched by his family's beliefs. The circular logic of why we should trust in God's plan is seemingly so inescapable, and then to be bolstered by a community that preaches holding others accountable for straying from the path. I devoured this book in two days thanks to it being highly conversational and because it just grabbed onto my heart.

To Watch: Stand Up Guys

It really pains me that the reviews of this movie are bad. I didn't bother reading them post-watching. This movie was wonderful. Of course you might think it's going to be good because of the cast, and yes, that helps, but what is really great about it, is how it revolves around the characters and not the action. Some may lose interesting because it's a little slow, but that's one of the things I loved. It's a movie about great old crooks, being great old crooks. They move slow, have aches and complaints, are still funny and don't miraculously turn into younger men who do crazy stunts via special effects or unbelievable lines via crazy scripts (re: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and any actor that's granted Aaron Sorkin's fast paced zingers). 

Secondary recommendation: Warm Bodies

Both Stand Up Guys and Warm Bodies have amazing soundtracks... Left me ranting and raving to Ed about what good choices were made.

To Hear: Elise LeGrow "Weed & Wine"

This song is my current favorite background music for making dinner, along with those aforementioned soundtracks. It reminds me of "Dreamsome" by Shelby Lynne which was in Bridget Jones' Diary, but with a bit more body. Speaking of body, I've no idea what the deal is with the wine bath in the video, so, just take the song on it's own regardless of the video. 

Fingers crossed I get pictures up from our vacation in the next post!

Catch-All!

Goodness, I have no excuse for not writing recently. So much has been going on and I really should be documenting it. Let me catch you up briefly before I get back to posting more regularly with pictures from our travels...

I submitted another book review today for Racialicious so fingers crossed it meets expectations. I've been a reading fool. 

It's wonderful really, and I feel more confident about my ability to assess books and appreciate nuances of certain authors. I can connect similarities and references with much greater ease. It's wonderful. Now if only I could get those connections out of my head and onto the page. My first review is here. Be gentle - I'm trying my best to learn how to review appropriately and I know I can't get better at it if I don't keep trying. Plus, I've been battling that self-doubt that says that my writing isn't good enough for any kind of publishing. Leave it to Eleanor Roosevelt to explain it best: "You must do the thing that you think you cannot do."

Running is on the back burner. It's still happening, I've not quit, and I'm still enjoying it, but without any races coming up, I'm not pushing myself to go any great distances. I did get a fancy pair of new shoes thanks to a grand re-opening sale at Sports Authority and I am in love.

They are so comfortable and it doesn't hurt that I love the way they look. I can't lie, I was badly hoping for a pair of Nike's. You all know how much I love that one Nike commercial with the singing and the literal cross country running, you know, this one:

But sadly, none of the Nike shoes were supportive enough for me. Or they were tight on my (apparently) gigantic feet. Most felt super comfortable, I told Ed it was like running on pillows. But I have a bit of a flat foot and I need more structure to my shoe so I went with the lovely Asics above and after a four mile run to break them in, I don't have an iota of regret.

I've started a regular meditation and yoga routine and I've been feeling a big difference in my emotional reactions. I feel as if I'm on a slightly more even keel than I was before. I still struggle with holding poses and keeping my mind at ease, but I'm enjoying the struggle. Along with that Eleanor Roosevelt quotation I've been telling myself to 'breathe into the resistance.' That seems to help when I'm vibrating with exhaustion and ready to collapse into corpse pose.

Weight-loss is still on track - 22 lbs down and counting! Thankfully our last visit home didn't add any extra weight - but I sure didn't lose anything either. That may or may not have been because of that Ledo's pizza. I went a liiiiiittle bit nuts on that thing. I don't regret it! Too delicious to regret. Mushroom and pepperoni and some Cholula chipotle sauce and I'm in heaven. No wonder we were eating that weekly in Reston. Note to self - do not buy a home near a Ledo's.

I'm still job hunting but that is a sadly quiet affair. No nibbles on a thing! But that's okay, I'll just keep poking around. Also, after seeing Michelle in her wonderful production of Ragtime, I'm feeling a bit inspired to find somewhere to sing out here... a chorus or a show... I'll keep you all updated if I find something.

I will be back in the MD area briefly this upcoming weekend for my sister's baby shower. I'm really excited for the gender reveal cupcakes. Let's be honest, who wouldn't be excited for cupcakes period? And add on top a gender reveal? Best cupcakes ever!

That's a decent catch all post for now. Hopefully writing these book reviews and posting on here will keep me honest. With our traveling dying down for the summer after this weekend trip, it'll be nice to get a regular posting schedule set-up.