Month 1

Boy has time flown by here! Hard to believe my family has all come and gone at this point. I think our next visitors aren't slated until June? I'd say that seems so far but time holds no meaning anymore. This first month has really felt like one long day! I remind myself of what Gretchen Rubin says in The Happiness Project: the days are long but the years are short.

I'm writing this up pretty haphazardly so I'll be brief and let the pictures do most of the talking. Thank you to those who have sent diapers, clothes and other gifts - it's been so helpful. Who knew an amazon wish list could make things so easy!

And for our 1 month  update!

Don't worry it's not on - just showin' support for Dad's work!

It was not all smooth sailing with the photo shoot...

 What Are We Like:
* I looooove to laugh in my sleep. Im not a particularly smiley baby yet, but when those eyelids close, I have the funniest dreams and I chuckle and giggle galore.

(My heart wants to explode every time I get to hear it/see it)

* I'm still doing disposable diapers until I'm a bit bigger and then it's onto cloth diapers hopefully!

* Ive got a ton of energy. Mom doesn't know how I stays awake for as long as I do, but I do. And it's not for lack of trying to go to sleep either.

* Two types of sleep: Sleep sleep (0) & pseudo sleep (1). Pseudo sleep (1) generally occurs between 2am and 8am. I will coo, cry and move, but only for 5-10 seconds, then go back to Sleep sleep (0) for 15-20 minutes so that mom and dad can get some rest. Basically, I'm a very noisy kid!

What We Like:

* Music, although, not necessarily mom singing it.

* "Yard Time" - we let her lay out unswaddled and just dance. She especially likes this when it's sunny outside

* Cat naps. Usually, less than 5 minutes, but sometimes as long as 15! Just long enough to get very little done.

* Sunlight and fresh air. We love our walks and staring out into the patio on bright sunny days.

* Staring at nothing on the wall or ceiling and freaking out Mom and Dad in the middle of the night.

* Food. So much food! We've already had a couple growth spurt days that required hourly feeding. That was... intense. But our socks are already fitting better - it's amazing to actually see milestones of her growing like that. Socks that fell off in minutes before now stay on all day!

What We Don't Like:

* Sleep. This baby... the first 3 1/2 weeks were pretty rough. We had many days where the cumulative amount of sleep had by all (baby included) was ~4hrs. That's right, a mere four hours from midnight to midnight. You may have read newborns sleep on average 16 hrs. We didn't even care if it was 'through the night.' We just wanted sleep and it was oh so elusive. We're finally coming around in this 2nd month to something more normal... but good god was that hard.

* Clothing. We're a diapers and socks only kid. And that's mighty ok in this household!

* Baths. We're getting better here, everyday she's a bit more tolerant of the process. I hope she likes being immersed in water and swimming in the near future

We're Not Sure About

* The swing or bouncy chair. Everyone said these would be lifesavers but she would have none of if until the past 3 or 4 days. Who knows. 

* Our bassinet. It's been quite hard convincing this baby to sleep in her pack n play. She much prefers sleeping with Mom, the couch or most recently, the swing. 

* The cats. She's not aware of them but they love to watch over her. Rosie is particular will standby to help if Elise seems upset or is kicking a good deal. 

* Car Rides. These are hit or miss. There's little else as stressful as driving with a crying baby and being able to do nothing about it.

Ed and I keep saying it, we're very lucky to have such a great baby. The sleeping thing is hard, but she's really not a crier or screamer. She's tolerant of our flubs and she never startles unless she does it to herself (mostly sleep jerks). Even when she occasionally bites a nipple and I yelp and curse, she contentedly continues as if nothing happened. A very sweet baby indeed.

Otherwise, Ed and I are hanging in there. Trying to sleep when we can. Ed is keeping the coffee industry afloat. I was surviving on candy bars (twix and snickers mainly) for 3 weeks to give me energy at 2am. 

Also, we finally recieved a garden plot from the community garden. Great timing considering we started a ton of seedlings when my mom was here. 

I'm working on a list of products we've found valuable this first month, for the next post. I really found opinion pieces like that helpful when I was combing through blogs I like, looking for baby advice.

 Til next time!

Elise's Birth Story

Ok ya'll, I'll try to keep the tmi to a minimum, but let's be real here, it's a birth story so... it's not all rainbows and sunshine and glitter. I'm half writing this for myself, to not forget how it went down, and half writing this for other women interested in having a home birth that may stumble upon this account.

So, I'd say things really started Friday, March 14th around 9am. I had been up for awhile after sending Ed off to work and mom and I decided to go for a walk. At some point I started having painful cramping and we started doing the usual exercises to lean into the sensation - lunges, squats to look at flowers and snails...

Squats at the end of our walk

We'd been doing these every night and I'm sure the neighbors got a real kick out of a hugely pregnant lady doing things seemingly straight out of the ministry of silly walks. The cramping wasn't regular and I was too nervous to say anything was really happening. I chalked it up to Braxton hicks. Carolyne, Joe and Emilia were due to meet us for lunch at Apple main campus so we made our way over. I had intermittent pains during lunch... Joe said he thought he was the only one really concerned I appeared to be in labor and that this baby was just gonna pop out at Apple HQ! I told Ed I would let him know if anything happened, but he made an executive decision and came home early not long after that! 

After lunch we decided to go for a swim with everyone because it was a really beautiful day. I think when the pains forced me to pause at the poolside wall in the middle of my laps, I knew it was possible this could be it! So I did a couple more laps and we all started to make our way home. 

I can't remember what I did for the next couple hours... Ed and I watched TV (I remember not enjoying any of the shows that involved yelling and preferred funny shows). We had dinner... Nothing crazy happened, just worked through the pain. But around 6 or 7 things became regular enough that I felt confident saying I was truly in labor so I called my midwife to let her know.

My midwife actually had another birth going on at the same time so when she did finally stop by around 10, she said it seemed pretty early and that I should call her when my contractions were longer, more intense, when my water broke, etc. Fun fact - some women have contractions that don't get longer! Mine stayed a solid 1 min long from beginning to end. The pain was as promised though...

So, we went back to listening to James Taylor on the record player and I kept laboring away. I felt so noisy. I was a big fan of the moaning noise to get through. The pain was getting pretty intense and I could feel it moving from my back to front to both areas. I tried getting in the shower two times and that only worked for me the first time. I really wanted the birth tub to be set up but we had to wait for the midwife to return and well, spoiler alert, she didn't come back in time for that!

It all gets really fuzzy for me after midnight to be honest. Mom and Ken had been babysitting Emilia and came back around this time. (Ken spent the rest of the night listening to the craziness from their room upstairs - you're a trooper Ken!) The pain was breathtaking and it was all I could do to fall to my hands and knees and try to moan and rock through it. I was hot and cold and had the shakes and was so tired. Mom and Ed would try to prop me up with their bodies but I would complain I was hot and they were crowding me :) Sounds like me right? At one point I woke up and Ed had his forehead against mine holding me up!

Mom encouraged me to try to lay down or lean to my side... Which turned out to be the one place I couldn't handle because as soon as I did that I immediately puked. There was a fair bit of stomach emptying at that point from the pain. This was around 2am. I couldn't keep any liquids down after that. 

I also had this Regina Spektor song stuck in my head and I kept trying to sing "ooooooopen" when I could form words. 

If things were fuzzy before, now they're just a blank for me. Around 4am Mom and Ed started asking if I was pushing and I realized I was starting to... At 4:15 my water broke. I was not disappointed in that moment - it was pretty much the dramatic movie moment I thought water breaking would be! At this point I'm told Mom and Ed started freaking out thinking they were going to have to deliver this baby on their own because we couldn't get ahold of the midwife. I remember asking for the tub and repeatedly saying "where the hell is the midwife?!" Around 445am the midwife and her assistant showed up and by this time I was on the floor flat on my back pushing this baby out. At 5:04am, Elise came out yelling at all of us!

I was in total shock at this point and immediately started shaking violently. I didn't realize that happened in normal labor - in class we talked about it happening to c-section patients, not in normal labor, so heads up ladies! Anyways, Elise was placed on my chest and for me, created a wall of screaming that made it impossible for me to hear what anyone said. I could, however, tell that something was a little wrong because there was a lot of tense shuffling and administering of shots and medications because I was bleeding "more than they would have liked." I don't know how long that went on but it felt like ages and the things they did to stop the bleeding were a pretty big and uncomfortable surprise. Uterine massage? I was prepared for that. Uterine sweep with gauze? I was not. Several massages (do not be fooled by the name), pills, shots and many tense minutes later and things started to get more under control. I don't know how long this went on, but I'm sure it felt like a very long time for Mom and Ed.

Obviously, it all worked out. I can't even say I was too scared because I was still just in shock and shaking like crazy, with a baby screaming in my face so I wasn't 100% aware. I won't go into the details of the rest, but I was surprised at how long the process was, involving clean up and stitch up and general just being awake post labor. I just wanted to sleep and be warm.

Getting her stats and stamp of approval :)

It all felt like the whole process happened very fast and generally, very much like what I expected. I'm so happy to have had the birth I wanted. I never got angry, only a couple times felt like crying from the pain, and mostly handled it better than I thought I would. I could not have done it without all the coaching and help from Mom and Ed. Ed remained calm the whole time and was super flexible about what I needed him to do, whether it was rubbing my back or just letting me hold onto him through the contractions. Even the midwife commented on how amazing they were and how lucky I was to have them helping me with so much love.

One of the reasons I was so stressed about being past my due date was that at 42 weeks the law has you moving from a midwife and home birth to an OB and the hospital. I truly did not want that at all after all our experiences at the hospitals with Ed. Hospitals are great places when you need them, but I really didn't think I needed that. So, thank you Elise for adding a little extra drama to the waiting game. I'm so happy she's here and so grateful for the experience. She's a brilliant handful and I couldn't ask for anything more. It's almost her 1 month mark and that will probably be the next post - updating on what she's like and how life is now!

P.S. If you're interested in homebirth, don't hesitate to ask me any questions, I'm obviously not too concerned with modesty here... I was offered advice from ladies who had done it and that guidance was invaluable. A big thank you to them :)

Elise Louise

She's here! Elise Louise Mitchell!

She started making her grand entrance Friday morning around 9am, March 14th and finally joined us at 5:04am on March 15th. 8lbs 10.5oz, 21 inches long. With enormous feet. I felt as if I recognized that one foot that was continuously in my side! And imagine my surprise when she came out with a full head of hair. It's hard to tell but she sure looks like Ed - a real California girl with blonde hair, blue eyes (for now), and skin that looks like it just might tan. Ill give a full account of her birth in a post soon, when I get another moment to write things out this week. For now I'll say it was a perfect homebirth without any complications - exactly what I was hoping for. 

Ed is responsible for the first name choice. It's from a song by The Cure, "Letter to Elise" which he can sweetly play for her on his guitar. I got to pick out the middle name, Louise, same as my own and my mother, originating from my great aunt Hazel who passed away in a car accident far too young. 

My new mantra is "one thing too many". Bathroom, shower, water refill and a snack? One thing too many. Sleep, pump, feed, and brush teeth? One thing too many. It's not always the same thing that gets sacrificed although often sleep is the first to go... But it's amazing how Elise seems to know that I'm trying to squeeze one last thing into her downtime and she'll pop right awake!

She's really perfect and we're such saps for her. It might sound weird but I even love her cry. She's one loud kid - came out crying, didn't even wait until she was all the way out! She sings to herself and coos, loves to dance and flail, and I just can't get enough of all of it. Except the part where she's not a fan of sleeping from 8pm to 3am - that's tough. One benefit to her taking her time making her arrival? She's amazingly alert. She just seems like an older baby all around. I look at her and already feel like there can't be enough time in all our days to witness her growing up as much as I want. Like I said, huge saps. :) 

The kitties have been great little guardians and just hang around keeping an eye on things.

Ed was such a great birth coach. Another birth story tease - the midwife didn't show up to help in earnest until 20 mins before Elise came out into the world and I had already started pushing. So for hours on end it was just Ed and Mom making do and they were incredible. Ed is an amazing dad (surprising no one, right?). He and Elise are so in love with each other. My mom and sister are still here helping and seriously, they've been invaluable. I'm so grateful they have the time and ability to be out here for such an extended stay.  I'll be incredibly sad to see them leave on Wednesday. We're enjoying every moment left and looking forward to upcoming family visits!

The view from the rental apartment in our complex where Ck is staying with Emilia

Omi and Elise selfies! :)

Emilia cooking her giraffe and super excited about it

Thank you to everyone who has expressed joy and love for our new addition. I'm a big emotional mess and all the sweet things you say get me every time. :) And so a little extra treat for you, here's my adorable (and comparatively so big and grown up!) niece seemingly taking her first real selfie:

Bump Update - Week 41

Hey guys... remember when I had a due date last week? That was funny wasn't it. :) So here we are, still pregnant and biding our time. Mom and Ed are doing their best to keep me distracted. 60% of the time I handle things pretty well and I am able to remember that things will happen as they are supposed to happen and everything is fine right now. The other 40% of the time I feel like I'm losing my mind. 

To clarify: it's not because I'm so uncomfortable (although I often am uncomfortable). It's because of hormones, which make me hyper emotional from the anxiety of waiting, and because everyday that passes, I worry I won't have a birth anywhere near the one I've been imagining (please refrain from telling me 'you never have the birth you want,' that is cold comfort and if that were really true I would've just eaten a million things, gained a million pounds, not exercised or eaten any prenatals because 'it's all out of my control' - sorry, I'm a bit keyed up). And then there's the guilt and pressure of not having your baby 'on time' when you have friends and family checking in everyday. Every night Ed, Mom and I go to bed thinking okay this might be it! And then we wake up and I'm still pregnant. It sounds crazy but I feel a bit embarrassed! I'm trying to be relaxed and upbeat, but it's quite hard. 

We've been walking in the nice weather, swimming, having delicious food, watching movies, dancing, reading... doing pretty much all we can to enjoy this extra time. (I know you can't walk a baby out but you can walk a pregnant lady away from going insane) I'm developing a bit of a tan, believe it or not. And by tan I mean a new layer of freckles. 

I can't say enough how wonderful Ed and Mom have been at trying to keep me on an even keel. This must be very frustrating and anxiety inducing for them as well and they've done an amazing job hiding it. There's not much else to say other than the wait continues, so here are some pictures!

My view!

There's always something new to put together it seems - this time it's an Ikea cart for extra storage

De-tagging party after our Ikea run

Come on in, the water's warm! 

The workin' man :)

The cookin' mom!

Lasagnaaaaaaa

Facetime with Kate and Omi!

The cats supervise my yard time from the windows

Huh, seems I have a growth on my midsection...

Our local park for a walk about

Our old local park in Campbell - we trained for the half marathon on this trail!

Family love :)

Stacks for breakfast! Best pancake place I've ever been to.

My cheery flowers from Trader Joe's and the farmers market

Bump Update!

Camera 1... (the glove helps my gestational carpal tunnel)

...Camera 2

How far along? 41 Weeks... how about that.

How Big Is Baby? Well my weight and belly size is the same so... the same baby size?

Sleep: Probably the most frustrating it's been to date. I'm either keeping the 'every 2 hr wake up' standard I've been having, or it shifts to 'every hr.' I'm not a fan of the every hr. I'm definitely taking more naps now.

Best moment this week: Too hard to pick one moment... we've had all these lovely excursions to local parks and enjoyed all the sunshine at the pool. Being outside really helps my mood. 

Movement: We're big fans of stretching out our pointy foot directly into my upper left side. I know I've mentioned it before but it's truly the most consistent movement coming out of this baby. Still squirming and doing our calisthenics in there.

Food cravings/aversions: Having to eat much smaller servings these days... Ed did bring home some girl scout cookies so that was pretty freakin' fantastic and basically all food sounds so amazing to me.

Symptoms: Heartburn came up again... it's been gone for awhile but I guess I truly am out of space now so I have to be careful about how much I eat.

Gender: Which gender is more shy and stubborn? That's the gender that is hanging on in there :)

Belly Button in or out? Totally flat with the occasional outie

What I miss: Right now I'd say I miss sleep. And my old clothes. I've been rotating the same 3 outfits and rockin' a bra and a swaddle at home for most of my days. Mom says I look like the new years baby. I can't wait to put on a pair of jeans again and never see a pair of leggings again. Well, at least until the next pregnancy I guess.

What I am looking forward to: ... Does it even need to be typed? It's gotta happen any moment now... and also really looking forward to Ken, Ck, Emilia and Joe coming into town. Hopefully there will be a baby here for them to see!

Funny moment of the week: Finally going through my pictures on my camera (Mom and Ed have been documenting things) and realizing that every time I asked if mom was taking a picture of me while I was pants-less and she would say 'no' - she was totally lying. There were none appropriate to post on here :)

Labor Signs: Lots of downward pressure, sometimes pretty intense... but other than that... I got nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: Kudos to people who can handle advice with grace, it is certainly a skill. I offer you this slot to insert your advice and wisdom for the week here cause I don't have much guidance on that note.

Milestones: Passing my due date? Is that a milestone? Getting one step closer to making it the 10 days past due date my mom made it with Ck!

And of course, the sweetest kleine Erdbeere: