Elise's Birth Story

Ok ya'll, I'll try to keep the tmi to a minimum, but let's be real here, it's a birth story so... it's not all rainbows and sunshine and glitter. I'm half writing this for myself, to not forget how it went down, and half writing this for other women interested in having a home birth that may stumble upon this account.

So, I'd say things really started Friday, March 14th around 9am. I had been up for awhile after sending Ed off to work and mom and I decided to go for a walk. At some point I started having painful cramping and we started doing the usual exercises to lean into the sensation - lunges, squats to look at flowers and snails...

Squats at the end of our walk

We'd been doing these every night and I'm sure the neighbors got a real kick out of a hugely pregnant lady doing things seemingly straight out of the ministry of silly walks. The cramping wasn't regular and I was too nervous to say anything was really happening. I chalked it up to Braxton hicks. Carolyne, Joe and Emilia were due to meet us for lunch at Apple main campus so we made our way over. I had intermittent pains during lunch... Joe said he thought he was the only one really concerned I appeared to be in labor and that this baby was just gonna pop out at Apple HQ! I told Ed I would let him know if anything happened, but he made an executive decision and came home early not long after that! 

After lunch we decided to go for a swim with everyone because it was a really beautiful day. I think when the pains forced me to pause at the poolside wall in the middle of my laps, I knew it was possible this could be it! So I did a couple more laps and we all started to make our way home. 

I can't remember what I did for the next couple hours... Ed and I watched TV (I remember not enjoying any of the shows that involved yelling and preferred funny shows). We had dinner... Nothing crazy happened, just worked through the pain. But around 6 or 7 things became regular enough that I felt confident saying I was truly in labor so I called my midwife to let her know.

My midwife actually had another birth going on at the same time so when she did finally stop by around 10, she said it seemed pretty early and that I should call her when my contractions were longer, more intense, when my water broke, etc. Fun fact - some women have contractions that don't get longer! Mine stayed a solid 1 min long from beginning to end. The pain was as promised though...

So, we went back to listening to James Taylor on the record player and I kept laboring away. I felt so noisy. I was a big fan of the moaning noise to get through. The pain was getting pretty intense and I could feel it moving from my back to front to both areas. I tried getting in the shower two times and that only worked for me the first time. I really wanted the birth tub to be set up but we had to wait for the midwife to return and well, spoiler alert, she didn't come back in time for that!

It all gets really fuzzy for me after midnight to be honest. Mom and Ken had been babysitting Emilia and came back around this time. (Ken spent the rest of the night listening to the craziness from their room upstairs - you're a trooper Ken!) The pain was breathtaking and it was all I could do to fall to my hands and knees and try to moan and rock through it. I was hot and cold and had the shakes and was so tired. Mom and Ed would try to prop me up with their bodies but I would complain I was hot and they were crowding me :) Sounds like me right? At one point I woke up and Ed had his forehead against mine holding me up!

Mom encouraged me to try to lay down or lean to my side... Which turned out to be the one place I couldn't handle because as soon as I did that I immediately puked. There was a fair bit of stomach emptying at that point from the pain. This was around 2am. I couldn't keep any liquids down after that. 

I also had this Regina Spektor song stuck in my head and I kept trying to sing "ooooooopen" when I could form words. 

If things were fuzzy before, now they're just a blank for me. Around 4am Mom and Ed started asking if I was pushing and I realized I was starting to... At 4:15 my water broke. I was not disappointed in that moment - it was pretty much the dramatic movie moment I thought water breaking would be! At this point I'm told Mom and Ed started freaking out thinking they were going to have to deliver this baby on their own because we couldn't get ahold of the midwife. I remember asking for the tub and repeatedly saying "where the hell is the midwife?!" Around 445am the midwife and her assistant showed up and by this time I was on the floor flat on my back pushing this baby out. At 5:04am, Elise came out yelling at all of us!

I was in total shock at this point and immediately started shaking violently. I didn't realize that happened in normal labor - in class we talked about it happening to c-section patients, not in normal labor, so heads up ladies! Anyways, Elise was placed on my chest and for me, created a wall of screaming that made it impossible for me to hear what anyone said. I could, however, tell that something was a little wrong because there was a lot of tense shuffling and administering of shots and medications because I was bleeding "more than they would have liked." I don't know how long that went on but it felt like ages and the things they did to stop the bleeding were a pretty big and uncomfortable surprise. Uterine massage? I was prepared for that. Uterine sweep with gauze? I was not. Several massages (do not be fooled by the name), pills, shots and many tense minutes later and things started to get more under control. I don't know how long this went on, but I'm sure it felt like a very long time for Mom and Ed.

Obviously, it all worked out. I can't even say I was too scared because I was still just in shock and shaking like crazy, with a baby screaming in my face so I wasn't 100% aware. I won't go into the details of the rest, but I was surprised at how long the process was, involving clean up and stitch up and general just being awake post labor. I just wanted to sleep and be warm.

Getting her stats and stamp of approval :)

It all felt like the whole process happened very fast and generally, very much like what I expected. I'm so happy to have had the birth I wanted. I never got angry, only a couple times felt like crying from the pain, and mostly handled it better than I thought I would. I could not have done it without all the coaching and help from Mom and Ed. Ed remained calm the whole time and was super flexible about what I needed him to do, whether it was rubbing my back or just letting me hold onto him through the contractions. Even the midwife commented on how amazing they were and how lucky I was to have them helping me with so much love.

One of the reasons I was so stressed about being past my due date was that at 42 weeks the law has you moving from a midwife and home birth to an OB and the hospital. I truly did not want that at all after all our experiences at the hospitals with Ed. Hospitals are great places when you need them, but I really didn't think I needed that. So, thank you Elise for adding a little extra drama to the waiting game. I'm so happy she's here and so grateful for the experience. She's a brilliant handful and I couldn't ask for anything more. It's almost her 1 month mark and that will probably be the next post - updating on what she's like and how life is now!

P.S. If you're interested in homebirth, don't hesitate to ask me any questions, I'm obviously not too concerned with modesty here... I was offered advice from ladies who had done it and that guidance was invaluable. A big thank you to them :)

Bump Update - Week 41

Hey guys... remember when I had a due date last week? That was funny wasn't it. :) So here we are, still pregnant and biding our time. Mom and Ed are doing their best to keep me distracted. 60% of the time I handle things pretty well and I am able to remember that things will happen as they are supposed to happen and everything is fine right now. The other 40% of the time I feel like I'm losing my mind. 

To clarify: it's not because I'm so uncomfortable (although I often am uncomfortable). It's because of hormones, which make me hyper emotional from the anxiety of waiting, and because everyday that passes, I worry I won't have a birth anywhere near the one I've been imagining (please refrain from telling me 'you never have the birth you want,' that is cold comfort and if that were really true I would've just eaten a million things, gained a million pounds, not exercised or eaten any prenatals because 'it's all out of my control' - sorry, I'm a bit keyed up). And then there's the guilt and pressure of not having your baby 'on time' when you have friends and family checking in everyday. Every night Ed, Mom and I go to bed thinking okay this might be it! And then we wake up and I'm still pregnant. It sounds crazy but I feel a bit embarrassed! I'm trying to be relaxed and upbeat, but it's quite hard. 

We've been walking in the nice weather, swimming, having delicious food, watching movies, dancing, reading... doing pretty much all we can to enjoy this extra time. (I know you can't walk a baby out but you can walk a pregnant lady away from going insane) I'm developing a bit of a tan, believe it or not. And by tan I mean a new layer of freckles. 

I can't say enough how wonderful Ed and Mom have been at trying to keep me on an even keel. This must be very frustrating and anxiety inducing for them as well and they've done an amazing job hiding it. There's not much else to say other than the wait continues, so here are some pictures!

My view!

There's always something new to put together it seems - this time it's an Ikea cart for extra storage

De-tagging party after our Ikea run

Come on in, the water's warm! 

The workin' man :)

The cookin' mom!

Lasagnaaaaaaa

Facetime with Kate and Omi!

The cats supervise my yard time from the windows

Huh, seems I have a growth on my midsection...

Our local park for a walk about

Our old local park in Campbell - we trained for the half marathon on this trail!

Family love :)

Stacks for breakfast! Best pancake place I've ever been to.

My cheery flowers from Trader Joe's and the farmers market

Bump Update!

Camera 1... (the glove helps my gestational carpal tunnel)

...Camera 2

How far along? 41 Weeks... how about that.

How Big Is Baby? Well my weight and belly size is the same so... the same baby size?

Sleep: Probably the most frustrating it's been to date. I'm either keeping the 'every 2 hr wake up' standard I've been having, or it shifts to 'every hr.' I'm not a fan of the every hr. I'm definitely taking more naps now.

Best moment this week: Too hard to pick one moment... we've had all these lovely excursions to local parks and enjoyed all the sunshine at the pool. Being outside really helps my mood. 

Movement: We're big fans of stretching out our pointy foot directly into my upper left side. I know I've mentioned it before but it's truly the most consistent movement coming out of this baby. Still squirming and doing our calisthenics in there.

Food cravings/aversions: Having to eat much smaller servings these days... Ed did bring home some girl scout cookies so that was pretty freakin' fantastic and basically all food sounds so amazing to me.

Symptoms: Heartburn came up again... it's been gone for awhile but I guess I truly am out of space now so I have to be careful about how much I eat.

Gender: Which gender is more shy and stubborn? That's the gender that is hanging on in there :)

Belly Button in or out? Totally flat with the occasional outie

What I miss: Right now I'd say I miss sleep. And my old clothes. I've been rotating the same 3 outfits and rockin' a bra and a swaddle at home for most of my days. Mom says I look like the new years baby. I can't wait to put on a pair of jeans again and never see a pair of leggings again. Well, at least until the next pregnancy I guess.

What I am looking forward to: ... Does it even need to be typed? It's gotta happen any moment now... and also really looking forward to Ken, Ck, Emilia and Joe coming into town. Hopefully there will be a baby here for them to see!

Funny moment of the week: Finally going through my pictures on my camera (Mom and Ed have been documenting things) and realizing that every time I asked if mom was taking a picture of me while I was pants-less and she would say 'no' - she was totally lying. There were none appropriate to post on here :)

Labor Signs: Lots of downward pressure, sometimes pretty intense... but other than that... I got nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: Kudos to people who can handle advice with grace, it is certainly a skill. I offer you this slot to insert your advice and wisdom for the week here cause I don't have much guidance on that note.

Milestones: Passing my due date? Is that a milestone? Getting one step closer to making it the 10 days past due date my mom made it with Ck!

And of course, the sweetest kleine Erdbeere:

Bump Update - Week 40

Things are wonderful. And yes, I am still pregnant. 10 months in and I'm feeling pretty ready guys. Forgive me if you've texted and already heard me say that a million times, but there is little else to say. It's such a holding pattern now. I'm talking to the baby letting him/her know that we're all ready out here and he/she can join us as soon as he's/she's feeling the urge. 

Lots of standing around and stretching out my back

Mom is here, helping Ed and me a huge amount. We're cleaning and cooking and reorganizing. We even made a run to Ikea for last minute things and a good walk around for me. 

Mom's food haul :) Can't wait to eat that herring again!

Opening a haul of lovely gifts from my mother in law while Ed gets his treatment

We've been walking, swimming and generally just moving about as much as my big, tired body allows. I can't believe I still fit in my bathing suit - it's the same one I was wearing pre-pregnancy.

 It's fit to burst for sure, but I just refused to get a maternity suit if I didn't need one. Maternity clothes are ridiculously priced as some of my newly pregnant friends may be discovering. 

Showing off my belly with Omi to now GrosOmi... or Urgrosmutter, whatever floats our boat!

Ed is amazing and super thoughtful, giving me tons of backrubs, helping me off the couch, listening to my nervous excitement. Needless to say he responds to my messages ASAP as do most people these days. :) I've had many 'I thought this was THE text!' responses. 

We went to a coworkers BBQ which was so. Much. Fun. It's easy to forget how nice it is to spend time playing video games, eating good food and just generally having fun with people close to your age or younger. 

Ed has got the best coworkers and I'm so glad they invite us out. Of course I do bribe them with my cookies but that's neither here not there...

All in all things are good and we are all ready and waiting. Don't worry about annoying me with messages if you're seriously wondering what's going on, Ill be as responsive as possible until things start to go down. In the meantime I just ask you guys wiggle your toes for me and send me lots of happy baby/happy mommy thoughts, telling this baby how much you want to meet him/her! 

Bump Update!

(Will try to post a formal picture later but I think you get the idea above)

How far along? 40 Weeks what the what?

How Big Is Baby? A 20 inch small pumpkin? Baby sized. This baby is full-term-baby-sized.

Sleep: Pretty tired these days... I'm anxious to meet this little one.

Best moment this week: Mom's here! That pretty much kicked off the excitement and anticipation of everything officially. 

Movement: About the same, still kicking and punching. Baby has got one helluva pointy foot over on the left side of my belly.

Food cravings/aversions: A lot less hungry in general. No aversions or cravings... Ok maybe a beer or margarita or two :)

Symptoms: Nothing new here either. Trying hard to let things happen as they're gonna happen. Swelling seems more under control this week actually. 

Gender: Not getting many guesses anymore... Mostly just comments on my size!

Belly Button in or out? No change here, mostly flat or half hooded. 

What I miss: Hmmm how about fancy dinners? As in, chefs tasting menus. My sister went out for one this week and I swear I could almost taste the food through the pictures she was sending me. 

What I am looking forward to: Hopefully this little goof making a timely appearance! And past that... Seeing the rest of family. I have a feeling from the moment this baby comes it will all go by at a blindingly fast pace. 

Funny moment of the week: Every moment I got to say "oh I'm due on Tuesday." People couldn't believe I was out doing things - driving, swimming, grocery shopping, going to a BBQ, etc. I know some ladies are struck with orders of bed rest but thankfully I can still go out and enjoy freaking people out :)

Labor Signs: Lots of downward pressure and a sprinkling of contractions over the days. I'm ready for the big time boss, just say the word!

Weekly Wisdom: One of the best heads up about labor I ever got was about how you will give less than zero damns about what you look or sound like in labor. And I'd like to extend that a little bit to how I've approached clothing in these past two weeks or so. Pants are completely optional and generally not welcomed in my wardrobe of late and I could give less than zero damns!

Milestones: Well, obviously reaching term! Having mom arrive - signaling the beginning of the end. Checking off all the things on our preparing for labor list. ... Can the next milestone please be this wee thing's arrival???

Fingers crossed and happy thoughts! Emilia looks ready for a cousin right? She has no idea what's gonna hit her :)

Bump Update - Week 39

Whoa guys... one week left? How did that happen? I know, I know, it could be longer, but man, 'one week until my due date' is a crazy thing to write out. 

I had my last pedicure appointment. I'm not much for getting my nails done unless it's a very special occasion, but I sure have enjoyed these sessions. It's been lovely having Joy at the Whole Body Salon chat with me while helping me reach these forgotten toes. If you plan on visiting me, you should absolutely stop in at Whole Foods to enjoy a little time at this salon. 

The pretty flowers get me every time!

The cats got their 'spa day' as well. Baths, treatments, kitty caps... the works! They tolerated it pretty well though they wanted nothing to do with us for a few hours afterwards. I can't blame them. But they're so soft and clean now!

Not sparkling with joy on the inside, but they are on the outside!

It's been a lovely week of final preparation all in all. The last minute shopping is done, the house is as clean as it's gonna get for visitors, and all the baby stuff is cleaned and ready. I've been talking to this munchkin, telling him/her that we are ready and that anytime now would be perfect. :) I'm doing my 'pain coping' exercises with a bowl of ice and practicing my affirmations. I'm generally feeling pretty good... just cumbersome and heavy. And a bit like a punching bag. Midwife says all looks good and all my numbers are on track. So... any day now!

We also took advantage of our dwindling time to have dinner at the food trucks again. So amazing. Pulled pork sandwich, chicken and mushrooms sandwich, and fantastic tater tots... and maybe some delicious cupcakes. A blueberry cheesecake and a churro cupcake! To share of course... ;)  It's nice seeing all the families here, I like imagining meeting Ed here after work with the baby. Give the Ergo carrier some good use!

I've been spending time sitting on the patio now that it's a little warmer and the garden is blooming like crazy. I figure 10-20 minutes of sun is good for my vitamin D as well. If I'm not up to walking, the least I can do is sit out in the fresh air. Few things in life make me as happy as sitting and looking at healthy plants.

And! The Pentatonix concert was amaaaazing. 

It was actually a perfect concert for a full term pregnant lady. Started on time, ended early, and the crowd was all theater/choral people and some middle aged folks. In other words, a very chill crowd. The lighting? Incredible. There's only so much you can do with a show made of 4 people singing with minimal dancing. But the set and the lighting, were amazing. They opened with their Daft Punk medley and it was just... it's hard to describe how inspiring it is when you see performers live and they sound just as good, if not better, than their produced pieces. Baby was dancing away the whoooole show - which was a little uncomfortable, but super great for me being able to sleep the rest of the night. Baby was exhausted I guess! 

Also hearing Avi do his overtone singing in person was really awesome (you gotta listen for the whistle tones):

They also did "Let's Get It On" which they had done on the Sing Off, but this time they added a little audience participation by bringing up a female fan. She was jumping out of her skin she was so excited. 

The audience member is seated on the far left of the stage.

The event staff was lovely too. The VIP room was a great break area away from the concert but when they found out I was 10 days away from my due date they offered to get me handicapped seating! We tried to make our way down to the area but it was pretty cram packed with people already situated. Thankfully, a very nice couple offered me their seat so I got to enjoy the concert up close while off my feet. I didn't get to see much, but honestly, all I wanted was to be in the room and enjoy the singing. Feel the bass in my bones you know? It was amazing. Ed keeps out doing himself with these gifts!

Well, bump time! One of the few left! 

Feelin' pretty big these days!

How far along? 39 Weeks

How Big Is Baby? 20in-ish and as heavy as a mini watermelon!

Sleep: Same, same, same. Which is hopefully a good thing. Hope it's a sign of things to come in a week or so.

Best moment this week: Of course, the Pentatonix concert. There are few things as much fun as seeing a brilliant performance, singing along with a friendly audience, and getting to dance around to thumping bass. We haven't been out to as many concerts these days unfortunately, and I know that number will be even fewer for awhile, so I really, really enjoyed this evening out.

Movement: A lot more uncomfortable for me these days because there's just no room in there. Every move feels like the last inch my skin can stretch, but we're still dancing and partying in there.

Food cravings/aversions: I want a beer people. No. I want a case of beer. A delicious case of deliciousness. 

Symptoms: Little bit of ankle swelling going on here. Thank god it didn't happen until just now at the end, how miserable it would be to have this for months like some of the women I've seen along the way. Otherwise, just normal stuff - fatigue and what not.

It's not horrible, but my right foot is definitely a bit more swollen than the left!

Gender: I've been getting a lot of guesses for a boy based on how I'm carrying.   

Belly Button in or out? Still have a little hood, but mostly it's just flat. We're not innie or outie, we're just stretched to within an inch of our life!

What I miss: Being able to move without as much thought. I told Ed, it's like making a 10 point turn just to get out of bed in the middle of the night. Same for sitting down, getting up off the floor, etc. It all takes way more maneuvering at this stage of the game.

What I am looking forward to: Mom! She should be here in oh, 24 hrs or so. And I am soooo ready! :)

Funny moment of the week: I joined Ed and his coworkers for lunch this week at the company cafe. At the end of the meal I stood up and noticed there was a small puddle on my chair. Ed and I both looked at each other like... oh. my. god. is this IT? But I didn't feel anything?! And we just came from the midwife and she didn't say it would happen NOW! Ack! But then I went to the bathroom and only the outside of my pants were wet. Boy did that get my heart rate up. So thank you person who sat there before me for leaving the chair wet, you scared the bejesus out of this pregnant lady and her husband.

Labor Signs: Some braxton hicks maybe? It's hard to tell. Nothing awful. But I wish more would come around... For whatever reason I feel like I'd be more ready if I had more practice sensations.

Weekly Wisdom: People generally mean well. I've been fortunate this pregnancy to be able to take a step back and not freak out on people who are just trying to be kind or friendly while not really knowing what to say. I don't blame other ladies for getting upset over some cliche pregnancy comments (are you sure there's only one in there, you're enormous!/the names you've picked are dumb or boring!/aren't you afraid of *insert some horrible pregnancy complication*)... but just try to wiggle your toes and take a deep breath and think happy thoughts! Doesn't help to get pissed, even if it feels totally justified. It'll just get you all worked up and have way less an impact on the other person than you are hoping for - and like I said, just trust that they are coming from a place of love and concern (whether it's true or not).

Milestones: Possibly the last week?! Crazy. This was the fastest pregnancy ever. :)

Annnnnnd of course, let's all celebrate my niece's 5 month mark! Such a lovebug.