"I think I found my place, can't you feel it growing stronger?"

Ok so I lied to you all again, I said I would blog about Bay to Breakers as the next post buuuuut I'm waiting on a friend to post his pictures. Funny thing, when you're actually running a race, it makes it pretty hard to take pictures of all the goofy stuff going on around you. It was a ton of fun, I've never seen so many sweaty naked men up close before... Lots of great costumes and the mood was just jovial. The pace was especially nice, considering I'm a slow poke. So while my time was worse than the 10k by a min/mi or two, I felt better about the run and my recovery time was only about 1 day, versus the 3 day utter incapacitation from the 10k. Now I'm faced with how to motivate myself to continue running without the pressure of a race to train for... I did just yesterday, purchase an app that has audio simulation of you being chased by zombies while you're on missions to collect items for your base camp (it's called Zombies, Run!), and it's pretty amusing. I'm excited about the idea of just being a runner, someone who can go out and just do a couple miles to stay in shape. And it will certainly make strength training and weight loss easier now that I'm not pushing for distance. Someday I'd like to get back into distance running (if you're interested, 7.46mi is my longest distance to date), but for now I'm gonna really buckle down on the weight loss aspect. And that's what I've been doing for the past two and a half weeks I'd say... and it's finally starting to pay off.

I've officially lost about 4lbs from my recent efforts after maintaining a solid 200lbs for the past 3 or 4 months of training, I've now left the 200's. I haven't been under 200 in maybe... a year? Two? So it's a fantastic feeling. Of course I'm impatient and really ready to lose more, but it's slow goings. Mostly, I'm so proud of myself. I've never really lost weight before, only gained, so being able to be completely in control, to be the only reason I have lost the weight is amazing. Ed was supportive but it wasn't because he forced me to do anything. I didn't have to resort to any program or book or diet plan as a crutch. I didn't have a traumatic experience. I just pulled myself up by my bootstraps and realized the only way to do this, is to do it.

A big (truly, a HUGE) thing I had to come to terms with is that there is no way to lose weight by exercising. You have to modify your diet. (I can hear you readers saying 'duh' as I type this, I know) Even if you exercise like crazy, there's no way you can burn off all that you eat - and like I found, your body will probably just shut down on you if you try. All the exercising makes me feel strong, and hell, I am strong now. I can do a ton of push-ups, and I can press 5 (well now almost 10) pounds more than my entire body weight with my legs. That's kinda awesome right?! I think so :) I notice all the little things that have changed... My arms and legs have definition, I don't get winded so easily... I can do videos and exercises that a year ago made me ill with exhaustion. Such a great feeling.

On another note, it's officially under 100 days til the wedding!!! The invitations are in the process of being put together as we speak and if you must know, they are incredible. I cannot wait for people to get them. They fit the wedding and our personality so well. I hope they make people smile like I did when I saw them. Joe has done beautiful work. It's crazy to think in a little over 3 months, I'll be married to an amazing man and off to the Grenadines.. .to work on my tan of course. And by tan I mean freckles. And by freckles I mean burns. All the little pieces of wedding things are coming together: I have the bridesmaids gifts, hair & makeup plans, wood working things are being built, photobooth backdrop, rough plan for food and snacks - possible popcorn machine?, guestbook quilt is coming together, bunting, memorial candles for Opa and for Ed's dad... all the little things are actually starting to get done or taking shape. It feels great and I can't wait to have all our friends and family come in and just have fun with us. I'll start documenting my crafts soon since all my races are over with and it's crunch time for building things.

Ok so I promise, I'll post pictures and give a full recap of the craziness of the race and post-race loveliness with friends and Dad & Debbie next time... or the time after that possibly :-P til then!

"I'm an extraordinary machine"

Ok I'm gonna brag. And I'll admit I give people grief (silently and in my own head of course) when they brag. I don't care how much weight you've lost (I actually do and I'm jealous) or how far you can run (once again, jealous) or how much you enjoy your work out (super envious on that point). So it's been really odd for me to be on the other side of that for once. I'll be damned if I turn into one of those people who only talks about their exercises but I just HAD to come on here and tell the world that I am OFFICIALLY a runner! Like I mentioned last entry, my family and I have signed up for Bay to Breakers (this is so NSFW for the love of God, but you should absolutely do a google image search for Bay to Breakers if you're at home). So I've been training and following a plan Ed made up for me. You must understand, when I've 'run' in the past, it went something like this: walk for five minutes, and then run one minute and then walk one minute for about 30-40 minutes. This is not an ideal way to run a race. I don't know what got into me, but when Ed gave me my assignment, I said okay. And proceeded to run for 20+ minutes a day straight. No break. No slowing down. I've dreamed about running like this for so long...

The sheer freedom of lacing up your sneakers and just going somewhere from your own strength and determination... it's exhilarating! (Anyone else think of that ad they pitched in What Women Want? Mel Gibson will forever be associated with peaceful women's running) It's also appealing in that it's just one long meditation. An extended assignment in focus and clarity of thought. In her new book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? Mindy Kaling (from The Office) talks about using elaborate revenge fantasies to get her through exercises. Turns out I like envisioning scenes from musicals, tv shows and books in great detail. If I start thinking about the fact that I'm working out or traveling or any thought at all about my actions I immediately start to feel exhausted and weak. So I just keep on trucking. I'm also kind of a baby in terms of working out without music... It's just so alien and barbaric that one would workout without any kind of distraction... But I've been doing that too. As much as I enjoy my scenes in my head, I've started testing out just being quiet and running. And that's not been awful either!

Ok that's enough exercise talk. I just wanted to tell the world how ecstatic I am to run finally. It's like learning how to do a cartwheel or something! (I have no idea how to do a cartwheel but since I've always wanted to do one and they look like so much fun, I imagine it's the best feeling in the world)

In other news, I'm plugging away at my reading challenge. The whole Game of Thrones series really slows me down, but I love it. I'll probably love it more when the show comes on again. I also picked up another book that really got me, Discovery of Witches, which is a trilogy, and has all that lovely romance and vampire-witch relations that I can never get enough of. I'm truly a sucker for vampires at the end of the day.

And! I've officially tried my hand at canning. It wasn't as hard or complicated as I thought. It WAS as messy as I was worried it would be. I have yet to taste my strawberry jam, but fingers crossed it's delicious. It's hard not to be delicious with bright berries and a metric ton of sugar added. 

Strawberry Jam! Hopefully edible...

Enjoying the day in Mountain View

I feel as if maybe in the first few months out here, I really kind of stalled. I just was dragging my feet and refusing to tackle all these dreams I had... maybe for fear of failure or because I was still bummed about moving? I still very dearly miss MD, my friends and family. But... I believe I'm finally seeing this as home? At least as in, this is Ed and I's space here. Our little corner of the world where we can and play with crazy cats and make potato bins (yeah, I'll post about that craziness next time), and I can address things I've always wanted to do, or just do better. It's a nice feeling :)

Cabernet flight at Savvy Cellars

Also one last little programming note - today is my stepmom's bday, and she and Dad are in Hawaii. I would like to express my happy birthday wishes to her along with a heaping dose of jealousy that we are not in Hawaii as well, snorkeling with dolphins, turtles and who knows what else :) Happy Birthday Debbie!

Brunch at Louis'

"Hello Louise, you look so good"

Time flies! I can't believe my visit back to Maryland has already come and gone so quickly. And still things seem to be happening at the speed of light. My body unfortunately has rebelled against all this activity and I've been laid up quite painfully on the couch from some mystery illness. It seems to be getting better and I've been able to accomplish a great deal today. I went for a hike yesterday with Ed and my father and it was really wonderful but it was about all I was good for that day. I sorely needed all that fresh air and sunshine. Maybe I can attribute that to today's improvements?

One area being sick has actually helped in is my reading goals. I signed up for GoodReads so I could see what my friends are reading and show what I'm reading (I'm a huge sucker for a good book discussion and I can never find enough people to talk to about books). I also decided to set myself a goal for # of books for the year. I arbitrarily picked out 35... but I've already made it through 5 books this January so now I'm leaning towards... 60? I think that's about 5 books a month. I know I'll have to read extra per month to make up for months like August/September when I'll be swamped with wedding activities... but I have a good feeling about this goal. :)

Speaking of goals and plans and lofty ideas.... I signed up for a 12k! Well, giving credit where credit is due, Dad and my stepmother Debbie asked if Ed and I wanted to do Bay to Breakers (a highly popular race here in San Francisco involving costumes, nudity and drinking - lately they've cracked down on the drinking). Ed was extremely excited, he's a big runner. I thought, 'oh yes I can imagine if someone did that it would be fun... oh wait you want ME to do that?!' So here we are. All signed up! And Ed's made a training plan for me. I'd like to note, Dad and Debbie have both run multiple marathons. Ed has also done marathons and is considering running the San Francisco one this summer. My last race was in Gettysburg, PA, which was 1 mile long, and I wept from my hurting ankle, walking most of the way. This was 15 years ago. So I'm a bit haunted by my poor past and my current intimidating company. Still, it feels kind of awesome to strive for something so big. And to not be able to back out. I'll let you know how training goes...

My visit home was amazing. Seeing friends and family was so needed. I missed a couple friends and didn't spend enough time with family, but I suppose everyone feels that way when they come home. There's never enough time to revisit with everyone and everything. It was just a perfect visit. There was even snow!! I've been complaining to Ed how I miss winter weather and my wish was granted. It made the visit to the wedding barn all the more beautiful. 

We worked out the kinks in our catering plan (we think) and have our BEAUTIFUL save the dates.. I just need to figure out how to work all this damn technology standing between me and the stupid labels... We got all of the bridesmaids outfitted... Found my wedding shoes, which remind me so much of Downton Abbey I love them to death...

I picked up my beautiful dress with Ck. My sister cried when she saw it. :)

I even strong-armed Ck into lightening my hair more and putting a teeeensy bit of red in there (I have to feed the addiction or else I'd end up looking like Claire Danes in My So Called Life out of the blue on a stressful day). It was just so nice to visit. I won't be there again until summertime for dress alterations. 

I should be posting soon... I'm going to attempt canning this week and lord knows that can only end with hilarity. I also need to get back on my cooking game, try new recipes and concoctions. I don't know if I even posted about the mind-blowing, delicious-in-every-way, pots de creme recipe by Tyler Florence I made for New Year's. If you come visit me, I will make it and force you to eat it. It's just that damn good. Much more to come :)