Pre-Race Day Jitters

It's almost time! I can't believe I've trained for and will be completing a half-marathon. If you had asked me what my running future looked like after that Presidio 10k.... it would be bleak. I was super excited to finish but the recovery from that race was agony. Coming to this point has been a huge accomplishment regardless of the outcome of this weekend's race. I owe a huge thanks to Ed for being my biggest cheerleader and coach through this process. He helped me through injury and bad mood and hunger-rage to get to a point where I actually love getting out and running (well, at least when I'm staring down a 2-5 miler). Thank you to my family for sending me love and support this whole time. But my biggest thanks? You guys who like my Nike+ Run links on Facebook and send me cheers through your mere click or comment. It has made such a huge difference in my training (special thanks to Jeanne for introducing me to it!). Unfortunately, I won't be able to use my headphones during the race so I won't be able to post and get your cheers on race day.

Sappy stuff aside... I am nervous! I know there's nothing I can do now except self-soothe and make sure the dialogue in my head is as positive as possible. My knee has been enjoying these short runs so I'm thinking it'll stay happy for Sunday. Unfortunately, I did have a bit of a health problem yesterday that warranted a visit to the doctor. There's a small chance it could cause some insurmountable problems in regards to finishing the race (or running at all - worst case scenario). I'm hoping a positive attitude and this medicine and all of your happy thoughts will keep me functioning in peak condition. Another thing that is nagging at me is the no-headphones thing. I totally understand why it has to be that way, I'm just worried about psyching myself out without music to distract me. Guess I should give Ed some talking points in the event I start freaking out a little!

Today we're going to blast off and take our time driving around the coast and Eureka and the redwoods, just exploring. Tomorrow will be more of the same. Sunday, I believe our race start time is 730? 745? I should check on that... :) It should be 'cold' (57-60 degrees) which for me is perfection.

This race feels a bit like a transformative stage for me. After this I will retire these sneakers (the same ones I wore in those 10k pictures) and even those same pants. They are pretty saggy now that I've lost weight and worse, I've worn holes in them from all the use. It's kind of silly but I'll be sad to part with them. They represent such a huge shift in my life - moving across country, accomplishing things I've always wanted to do, losing weight - just generally being more proactive about life. I'm not exactly a go-getter but I've really pushed myself. What's that saying? Don't let perfection be the enemy of good? Something like that. I've learned that doing my best, even if it's not perfect, is more than enough to get me where I want to go.

I'll update again on Monday to let you know I'm still alive and to post pictures of the weekend and the race. I'll take deep breaths, wiggle my toes and we can all think happy thoughts together!

"I'm running through the fire"

I survived!!! :) 

(Updated with new pictures!) It was such a cool experience! So many people, all shapes and sizes and ages (thank god), and it was a really nice course. Starting with a kind of intense hill up to the golden gate bridge, then across the bridge and back, then back down to the path along Crissy Field and back to the start.

Foggy, chilly morning

The runners were all nice and considerate, we were in the back with the other run/walk/slow-pacers so there was no real pressure.

The 10-milers taking off! The guy in front was running 5min miles

Prepared to carry me thru it :)

Nerdy lookin and ready!

You can soooorta see the starting line by the American flag

About 5 miles in I thought I was done for and was having some real troubling left hip flexor pain... but by then you could see the finish line and it was just ridiculous to not try and push through.

Crossing the bridge

Impromptu photo session - thank you Ed :)

The end is soooo cloooose you could see the little white tents of salvation in the distance!

SUCCESS!

Chillin cause he runs this distance every day....

With a couple bouts of walking during mile 5, I was able to run the last mile and ran through the VERY LOUD finish line right during the bridge of Foo Fighter's "Walk" which was SO AMAZING. I use that song to push myself hard in the gym and so running across the finish line to 'I'm dancing on my grave, and running through the fire...' was just so perfect. I got the chills from the music and everyone cheering. They even announced my name saying 'Great job Carly!' over the loud speakers. I wanted to cry I was so happy :) Ed was really sweet and ran my pace the whole time and even took time to take a picture of me on the bridge. I asked him how he was a couple times, projecting my struggle onto him, and then I would immediately remember he runs about 10 miles every Sunday now so this 6.2 was a walk in the park. We finished in 1hr20mins or so and I had guessed based on some charts I found online that it would take me about 1hr45m based on decreasing speed per mile, so I'm very pleased I beat my assumed time.

Thanks guys! :)

We had parked about 1.5 miles away, so including our 3mi walk to and fro, yesterday was a total of 9.2 miles. Longest time on foot to date, and longest run for sure. I'm just so happy I did it and that it was really enjoyable. Like I've told people before, Ed did not have to carry me across the finish line and that's pretty much all I can ask for! Thank you to everyone, and there were so many of you, that said such wonderful kind supportive things on here and Facebook about the race. It means the world to me and really makes me feel amazing! (I had other pictures but I can't figure out this iPhone. Stupid thing.)

Post-run... a pain like you would not believe. I just have to laugh about it now, but I was essentially walking like a robot because I could not get my muscles and joints to function after the hour long drive home from the race. Sleep jerks overnight were like little gunshots of pain to my ankles. My knees refused to ascend the stairs after feeding the cats this morning and I debated just sleeping on the couch to avoid the pain. That hip flexor issue I ran through has made it really difficult to lift my left leg for anything. Steps, walking, putting on pants, turning over in bed. I don't regret any of it and I know it'll hurt less each time I run. But I must say this is the most crippled I've been in ages. Tomorrow's a 3.5 mi run which sounds down right pleasant thinking about how much less sore I'll be!

In other news, I went back to the dentist and for those of you that don't know, apparently all of my teeth are falling out of my head. At least that's how I felt after my visit. 7 fillings on Saturday which left me shaking with anxiety and drooling (attractive, I know), with a sheet recommending a possible: 3 root canals if the fillings didn't go over well on some of those same teeth, 2 more fillings needed on the right side, and a crown on that same side. Good lord almighty. The best part of the post-race pain is the distraction from the mouth pain. But that is what I get for avoiding the dentist for about a decade. Yes. About a decade. He asked when was the last time I had work done, like my last fillings for example? And I literally had to say before the turn of the century. (EDIT: Ed would like me to also add that I could have said the turn of the millenium. oy!) Sad but true. Well, 7 fillings later with a huge rap sheet of future work, I've decided to forever keep my dentist appointments and floss like it's my favorite activity in the world.

I'd also like to take a minute to thank all of my friends and friends of my family who have expressed their sentiments about my Dad and Debbie and their troubles lately. He appreciates the support and regardless of what anyone thinks about all the things going on, it's no fun being the one under fire, and it is incredibly hard.

Rosie appreciating our t-shirts :)

"Keeps me walking when I'm falling down"

Hoooo boy. The day after tomorrow is the big race! I'm gonna keep this entry brief because I'm sure I'll be back next week to recap the craziness of Sunday. Training is... going. Slowly and painfully. This past week it's been ridiculously rainy and dreary and that combined with my growing fear of Sunday have made it challenging to get out and stick to things. I'm proud to say I forced myself out every day and surpassed my required number of miles every day, but I sure didn't enjoy it. It was a battle every step of the way. I'm most motivated when I have a funny podcast on like NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me or Alec Baldwin's Here's the Thing (his recent interview with Kristen Wiig is fantastic), but now that I'm running about 45-60mins a day, I'm plowing through all the episodes available. Anyone have any suggestions for funny podcasts I can tune-in to?

I've been feeling very nostalgic and... I'm not sure the right word, but maybe aspirational? Is that even a word? I'm reading a book titled This Life is in Your Hands by Melissa Coleman and she discusses her parents irrepressible work ethic and ability to make everything on the farm work (granted they would have faced some form of starvation if they didn't). I also watched Dancing with the Stars this past week when they sent Sherri Shepherd home and she advised the viewing audience to 'find the things that you fear and run toward them as fast as you can because it's so much better on the other side.' Thinking back on things in high school and college and wondering at how often I've held myself back from things because I prejudged my ability to perform... what a waste! And it's not something I've conquered by any means. I still haven't set foot in a class at the YMCA for fear of performing poorly. And even this Sunday, I've repeatedly told Ed I'm worried about my performance even though as he's reminded me, there isn't even a performance goal here. So in my quiet moments I've been contemplating how to address this... Like mothers who are afraid of passing on their body related insecurities to their children, I do NOT want to pass on this crippling self-doubt to my kids in the future. It's bad enough there are so many people in the world saying you can't do something, (whether they are right or not), no one needs that extra inner critic jumping on the bandwagon. To address it I've started meditation, trying to quiet that inner voice, and I'm making a point of trying out all of the things I love but have felt I wasn't good enough with: writing, German, psychology, physical activity, singing... there are many other things but I think those are the areas that give me the most pleasure and yet I've shied away from for fear of failure. Failure and judgement.

And another way I've tried to address this? To stop being a such a critic with my friends and family. It's hard, I'm a huge downer most of the time, always playing devil's advocate to my loved one's dreams, giving them a 'reality check.' But seriously who needs that? No one. You want to go speak in tongues and be a famous snake charmer and become a professor of Zumba? Go for it. Why the hell not? I'm hoping that by encouraging my friends and family, showing them that they have one supporter for whatever they want to do, I can get my own little inner Debbie-downer to shut the hell up and let my little cheery Carly take over.

So on that note... yay 10k? :)

"So lets get up, lets get on it"

You know that you had an amazing time when you can't even find the right words to start a post about how much fun you had. There just aren't any perfect words to describe how wonderful it was having some of my best buddies visit about a week ago now. Austin, Michelle, and Brian came to visit our side of the states and we sure painted the town red.

Michelle and Brian had been here before with Ed and me but for Austin this was a first time. We made the rounds to Muir woods and took a fantastic cruise around the bay and under the bridge. We wandered around Fisherman's Wharf, had Irish coffees at Buena Vista, got free chocolate from Ghiradelli, watched Ed swim in the freakin freezing cold bay along with the other nuts. Ate delicious ginormous Dungeness crabs.

We even got taken by a local scam artist who specializes in conning people looking for parking, later finding out he's even been in the paper. Bounced around Sonoma and had lunch at Apple HQ the day of the new iPad announcement. I think one of my favorite moments though was having dinner with Dad and Debbie - (Who generously lent us their car so we could all get around without having to throw Austin in the bed of the truck). Many bottles of wine and laughs and delicious food and just such a fun evening. It was all over way, way too fast and I cried like a baby on my way home from dropping them off at the airport.

There are so many details of the visit that would just seem ridiculous to put here, the main point of all of it being that it was just the greatest visit and I'm sure with the passing of time and idealization it will grow to seem like the greatest group of friends outing of all time. :) On the bright side, I seem to have finally conquered (well, learned to cope with it, at best) my fear of driving out here! I still miss my tiny civic like you wouldn't believe, but I drove all the way up to Mill Valley, crossing the bridge, and driving on 101 and 280 like a champ in our Taco (short for Ed's Toyota Tacoma... not to be mistaken for the delicious food).

Since they left it's been preeeetty quiet around these parts. I've been training a lot... now reader, do not misinterpret that as losing weight or getting faster. In my mind the only thing I've actually become really good at is forcing myself to continue running despite my wish to keel over and die 10 minutes in. So far I'm up to 35 minutes as my maximum... next Sunday I'm supposed to go for my first 40 minute run and I'm a bit terrified. My training mileage plan says I'm behind quite a bit... I should be running 4 miles continuously at this point and I've only come just past halfway to that. :-/ I must really buck up since I signed up for another 10K! Yeah, I'm riding this delusional training high as much as I can and trying to keep the motivation going. This one coming up is the Presidio 10K and you run along Crissy Field. There was a Groupon or LivingSocial deal for it so I thought why not! Pray for me.

I'm back on track with my reading goals too... I fell a bit behind caught up with visitors and those damned Game of Thrones books that just go on FOREVER. I love them, but Jesus. They are a lot. So I'm 12 books in now... I had a realization with Ed the other day. I have been SPOILED by my current and my previous library. The Mountain View, Reston and even Alexandria libraries have all been 800% more incredible than the Wheaton, Silver Spring and Kensington libraries. The quality, number and availability of books... having Kindle books readily available, easy online access, beautiful facilities...Moving back to libraries less awesome will be a tough pill to swallow for me. I know, I'm ridiculous, but reading is like food to me some days. It may be all I need that day.

Wedding plans are falling into place. Invites are in the works thanks to the amazing Joe Lamour who has patiently waited for text while I drag my feet with every task. The website is about 98% put together. It occurred to me that shortly I'll have to face the decoration of the barn and tables and what not... Deeeeep breaths. I wonder if other brides out there hate accomplishing any tasks because they know that will only lead to 7 more tasks that need immediate attention. Gretchen Rubin in The Happiness Project calls those kind of tasks 'boomerang tasks' and I swear that boomerang has been hitting me in the face a LOT.

Ed's friend Kirk visits next week and we're really looking forward to that. A couple of concerts lined up... Eric Hutchinson (I am sooooo excited for that!), Faderhead, Thomas Dolby, DJ Shadow possibly... lots of little activities to keep us bouncin' around out here.

Now to attend to these darn boomerangs...