Reverb12 Days 1-4

I knoooow I said these would be shorter but well.... I had to play catch up! I swear I'll be better about posting smaller things. I swear :)

For the month of December I'm following a prompt-a-day format that I found on a blog I thoroughly enjoy, Tenaciously Yours. Explanation of #Reverb12 can be found here.

Dec 1st: Where it began: Review and reflect – how did 2012 begin for you? Tell us how the year kicked off; start your renewal by beginning again.

This year was a crazy one. Ultimately, it was my big 'year of accomplishment.' I ran a 10k, a 12k, explored California more (Monterey, Yosemite, L.A.), planned a wedding, traveled out of the country, got into weight lifting, read almost 60 books! (I'm only at 52 now I think but fingers crossed I can squeeze in the rest before the year is out) I started out this year so strong, running daily. I was so sure I couldn't run. I 'knew' I couldn't stay on a strict diet. I never thought I could press 220 lbs with my legs! But I did all of them. I felt strong and felt like a new person. Looking back over my posts from the beginning of the year, I just swelled with pride. It gives me a sense of faith, that I can do things, that I am capable and powerful. Lately I have not been feeling very much of that at all, so taking the time to look over where I was is very inspiring. I think I'll take a little of that drive from the start of the year and apply it to the closing of this year.

Dec 2nd: Help: Asking for help can be the hardest thing we ever do. When and how did you ask for help? Alternatively, did someone ask you for help and how did it play out?

Without help, this would not have been my 'year of accomplishment.' Ed was behind me all the way with my running. Suggesting training tips, making plans for me, running like a real slow poke to keep pace with me. 

My friends and family made my wedding happen. Plain and simple. Without them, the wedding just would not have come together. I am eternally indebted to you all for that. You made our wedding happen. You can take credit for that for the rest of your days. Christmas presents? Birthday presents? Forget them. You made our wedding happen so that is gift enough. At least for a little while.... kidding! :) 

It is humbling to show people how desperately you need them. And to tell them how thankful you are. I really love sending thank you notes now but on some level I worry that it's so mandated by manners that people don't take them seriously. I've received my fair share of cards from people that seem to be writing meaningless nothings just to show good form. At the same time, my H.S. boyfriend's older sister helped me get ready for my prom. She took me to the salon and drove me around to get ready, it was wonderful. But later she complained that I hadn't seemed grateful enough. I had thanked her and had an amazing day (I even went back to the same salon for my second prom, and I still have the lip gloss she bought me to this very day - I know, gross, I should probably throw it out now due to expiration, but it's so pretty!). I wish I had given her a card in retrospect, something tangible for her to see my gratitude. In summation, if you have any doubt about how thankful I am for all the help you may have provided me.... don't. I think about these things for years and years and years. When did I go to that prom? 2004. 8 years ago. 8 years ago and I am still grateful and wishing I could express it better. I will be thinking of your help for just as long!

Dec 3rd: Beautiful Things: What brought beauty into your life this year? Was it a tangible thing or something intangible? Tell us about it in detail.

This is a little too easy, but the wedding brought beauty into my life. Tangible and intangible. The obvious beauty of the day itself, the bits and pieces that added up to a wonderful day. The amazingly perfect cake and cake toppers (made moments before the reception). The bunting. The beautiful bridesmaids. My beautiful dresses. But... more beautiful than all of the pieces, was how close I was able to be with everyone. I haven't spent so much time with my family in ages and it was wonderful. Seeing family that I have not seen in years, and for some, I may sadly not see again. Spending time with people who matter deeply to me. You don't realize how much you miss it until it's back in your life again. Something as simple as getting together for SpaWorld or my amazing bachelorette party at a ropes course or chatting while we arranged flowers... Just being able to talk to and touch and be close to people you cherish is it's own kind of beauty. One of my favorite moments was when we were all dancing at the reception and it was all ages and groups and everyone was together and happy. Watching Omi get down with everyone. It's so sappy I know, and it's embarrassing that it makes me tear up thinking about it now, but, that is what beauty is for me. It's the overwhelming love I feel surrounded by people I care about, all happy, all goofy, all undone, all at the same moment. 

(Boy that reminds me I need to post part 2 of my wedding day! Oops! Hm, that sure won't be a short post. Guess I won't be able to keep my promise! Maybe next week...)

Dec 4th:  Place: What places anchored you this year? Or were you in search of new places and spaces to call your own and call home? Describe the place you love and why it means so much to you.

This is our second year out here in California... We moved on our own into a new, much smaller apartment. I do miss our townhouse... I miss our garden space and the lush, pebbled courtyard. I loved running through the grid of the neighborhoods training for races. I miss being squished between two grocery stores, so easily accessible. I miss downtown Mountain View and it's little strip of awesome restaurants and stores, the wine shop styled like a train station next to the actual Caltrain stop. 

I find myself exploring houses for sale in Maryland, imagining our options... Could we live out in the middle of nowhere on a beautiful yellow Victorian house with a chicken coop and raised beds in the garden.... or a mid-century ranch style home closer to civilization, without much of that space to play outside but maybe closer to the pool and park and playgrounds... or a townhouse (blech). I've seen some beautiful town homes and not minded living in them, but I so badly want that outdoor space to grow plants and animals. It's funny, all of the things I love about our homes in Mountain View, Campbell, Reston and Alexandria, involve things that I don't even think of when imagining my future home. The store probably won't be a block away. There's no such thing as a late night run for In & Out or Taco Bell if you're living in the country. I told Ed once that I'd like my neighbors to be within running distances because if ever get attacked by a pack of roving murders a la The Strangers I'll have a fighting chance. Theoretically.

That being said, I'm enjoying our apartment. I'm glad we downsized, knowing we will have to move again (and it will be a much bigger deal this next time). Downtown Campbell is really nice, and we've found some amazing places to eat and explore. The Los Gatos Trail is nice to run on and because I'm running the same way every time it helps me see how my training is going. It takes some effort and reminding on my part to stop and enjoy the moment. I loved Christmastime out here last year and was surprised how quickly it went by. I'm determined to enjoy it this year knowing it's probably our last in California. It's just too easy to let the current moment slip away, planning for a future that I could never and should never predict.