Elise's Birth Story

Ok ya'll, I'll try to keep the tmi to a minimum, but let's be real here, it's a birth story so... it's not all rainbows and sunshine and glitter. I'm half writing this for myself, to not forget how it went down, and half writing this for other women interested in having a home birth that may stumble upon this account.

So, I'd say things really started Friday, March 14th around 9am. I had been up for awhile after sending Ed off to work and mom and I decided to go for a walk. At some point I started having painful cramping and we started doing the usual exercises to lean into the sensation - lunges, squats to look at flowers and snails...

Squats at the end of our walk

We'd been doing these every night and I'm sure the neighbors got a real kick out of a hugely pregnant lady doing things seemingly straight out of the ministry of silly walks. The cramping wasn't regular and I was too nervous to say anything was really happening. I chalked it up to Braxton hicks. Carolyne, Joe and Emilia were due to meet us for lunch at Apple main campus so we made our way over. I had intermittent pains during lunch... Joe said he thought he was the only one really concerned I appeared to be in labor and that this baby was just gonna pop out at Apple HQ! I told Ed I would let him know if anything happened, but he made an executive decision and came home early not long after that! 

After lunch we decided to go for a swim with everyone because it was a really beautiful day. I think when the pains forced me to pause at the poolside wall in the middle of my laps, I knew it was possible this could be it! So I did a couple more laps and we all started to make our way home. 

I can't remember what I did for the next couple hours... Ed and I watched TV (I remember not enjoying any of the shows that involved yelling and preferred funny shows). We had dinner... Nothing crazy happened, just worked through the pain. But around 6 or 7 things became regular enough that I felt confident saying I was truly in labor so I called my midwife to let her know.

My midwife actually had another birth going on at the same time so when she did finally stop by around 10, she said it seemed pretty early and that I should call her when my contractions were longer, more intense, when my water broke, etc. Fun fact - some women have contractions that don't get longer! Mine stayed a solid 1 min long from beginning to end. The pain was as promised though...

So, we went back to listening to James Taylor on the record player and I kept laboring away. I felt so noisy. I was a big fan of the moaning noise to get through. The pain was getting pretty intense and I could feel it moving from my back to front to both areas. I tried getting in the shower two times and that only worked for me the first time. I really wanted the birth tub to be set up but we had to wait for the midwife to return and well, spoiler alert, she didn't come back in time for that!

It all gets really fuzzy for me after midnight to be honest. Mom and Ken had been babysitting Emilia and came back around this time. (Ken spent the rest of the night listening to the craziness from their room upstairs - you're a trooper Ken!) The pain was breathtaking and it was all I could do to fall to my hands and knees and try to moan and rock through it. I was hot and cold and had the shakes and was so tired. Mom and Ed would try to prop me up with their bodies but I would complain I was hot and they were crowding me :) Sounds like me right? At one point I woke up and Ed had his forehead against mine holding me up!

Mom encouraged me to try to lay down or lean to my side... Which turned out to be the one place I couldn't handle because as soon as I did that I immediately puked. There was a fair bit of stomach emptying at that point from the pain. This was around 2am. I couldn't keep any liquids down after that. 

I also had this Regina Spektor song stuck in my head and I kept trying to sing "ooooooopen" when I could form words. 

If things were fuzzy before, now they're just a blank for me. Around 4am Mom and Ed started asking if I was pushing and I realized I was starting to... At 4:15 my water broke. I was not disappointed in that moment - it was pretty much the dramatic movie moment I thought water breaking would be! At this point I'm told Mom and Ed started freaking out thinking they were going to have to deliver this baby on their own because we couldn't get ahold of the midwife. I remember asking for the tub and repeatedly saying "where the hell is the midwife?!" Around 445am the midwife and her assistant showed up and by this time I was on the floor flat on my back pushing this baby out. At 5:04am, Elise came out yelling at all of us!

I was in total shock at this point and immediately started shaking violently. I didn't realize that happened in normal labor - in class we talked about it happening to c-section patients, not in normal labor, so heads up ladies! Anyways, Elise was placed on my chest and for me, created a wall of screaming that made it impossible for me to hear what anyone said. I could, however, tell that something was a little wrong because there was a lot of tense shuffling and administering of shots and medications because I was bleeding "more than they would have liked." I don't know how long that went on but it felt like ages and the things they did to stop the bleeding were a pretty big and uncomfortable surprise. Uterine massage? I was prepared for that. Uterine sweep with gauze? I was not. Several massages (do not be fooled by the name), pills, shots and many tense minutes later and things started to get more under control. I don't know how long this went on, but I'm sure it felt like a very long time for Mom and Ed.

Obviously, it all worked out. I can't even say I was too scared because I was still just in shock and shaking like crazy, with a baby screaming in my face so I wasn't 100% aware. I won't go into the details of the rest, but I was surprised at how long the process was, involving clean up and stitch up and general just being awake post labor. I just wanted to sleep and be warm.

Getting her stats and stamp of approval :)

It all felt like the whole process happened very fast and generally, very much like what I expected. I'm so happy to have had the birth I wanted. I never got angry, only a couple times felt like crying from the pain, and mostly handled it better than I thought I would. I could not have done it without all the coaching and help from Mom and Ed. Ed remained calm the whole time and was super flexible about what I needed him to do, whether it was rubbing my back or just letting me hold onto him through the contractions. Even the midwife commented on how amazing they were and how lucky I was to have them helping me with so much love.

One of the reasons I was so stressed about being past my due date was that at 42 weeks the law has you moving from a midwife and home birth to an OB and the hospital. I truly did not want that at all after all our experiences at the hospitals with Ed. Hospitals are great places when you need them, but I really didn't think I needed that. So, thank you Elise for adding a little extra drama to the waiting game. I'm so happy she's here and so grateful for the experience. She's a brilliant handful and I couldn't ask for anything more. It's almost her 1 month mark and that will probably be the next post - updating on what she's like and how life is now!

P.S. If you're interested in homebirth, don't hesitate to ask me any questions, I'm obviously not too concerned with modesty here... I was offered advice from ladies who had done it and that guidance was invaluable. A big thank you to them :)