"Hello Louise, you look so good"

Time flies! I can't believe my visit back to Maryland has already come and gone so quickly. And still things seem to be happening at the speed of light. My body unfortunately has rebelled against all this activity and I've been laid up quite painfully on the couch from some mystery illness. It seems to be getting better and I've been able to accomplish a great deal today. I went for a hike yesterday with Ed and my father and it was really wonderful but it was about all I was good for that day. I sorely needed all that fresh air and sunshine. Maybe I can attribute that to today's improvements?

One area being sick has actually helped in is my reading goals. I signed up for GoodReads so I could see what my friends are reading and show what I'm reading (I'm a huge sucker for a good book discussion and I can never find enough people to talk to about books). I also decided to set myself a goal for # of books for the year. I arbitrarily picked out 35... but I've already made it through 5 books this January so now I'm leaning towards... 60? I think that's about 5 books a month. I know I'll have to read extra per month to make up for months like August/September when I'll be swamped with wedding activities... but I have a good feeling about this goal. :)

Speaking of goals and plans and lofty ideas.... I signed up for a 12k! Well, giving credit where credit is due, Dad and my stepmother Debbie asked if Ed and I wanted to do Bay to Breakers (a highly popular race here in San Francisco involving costumes, nudity and drinking - lately they've cracked down on the drinking). Ed was extremely excited, he's a big runner. I thought, 'oh yes I can imagine if someone did that it would be fun... oh wait you want ME to do that?!' So here we are. All signed up! And Ed's made a training plan for me. I'd like to note, Dad and Debbie have both run multiple marathons. Ed has also done marathons and is considering running the San Francisco one this summer. My last race was in Gettysburg, PA, which was 1 mile long, and I wept from my hurting ankle, walking most of the way. This was 15 years ago. So I'm a bit haunted by my poor past and my current intimidating company. Still, it feels kind of awesome to strive for something so big. And to not be able to back out. I'll let you know how training goes...

My visit home was amazing. Seeing friends and family was so needed. I missed a couple friends and didn't spend enough time with family, but I suppose everyone feels that way when they come home. There's never enough time to revisit with everyone and everything. It was just a perfect visit. There was even snow!! I've been complaining to Ed how I miss winter weather and my wish was granted. It made the visit to the wedding barn all the more beautiful. 

We worked out the kinks in our catering plan (we think) and have our BEAUTIFUL save the dates.. I just need to figure out how to work all this damn technology standing between me and the stupid labels... We got all of the bridesmaids outfitted... Found my wedding shoes, which remind me so much of Downton Abbey I love them to death...

I picked up my beautiful dress with Ck. My sister cried when she saw it. :)

I even strong-armed Ck into lightening my hair more and putting a teeeensy bit of red in there (I have to feed the addiction or else I'd end up looking like Claire Danes in My So Called Life out of the blue on a stressful day). It was just so nice to visit. I won't be there again until summertime for dress alterations. 

I should be posting soon... I'm going to attempt canning this week and lord knows that can only end with hilarity. I also need to get back on my cooking game, try new recipes and concoctions. I don't know if I even posted about the mind-blowing, delicious-in-every-way, pots de creme recipe by Tyler Florence I made for New Year's. If you come visit me, I will make it and force you to eat it. It's just that damn good. Much more to come :)

"Gotta get a glue gun!"

HAHAHA This video.... Ok I have to admit I didn't find the other shit people say videos very funny, but maybe that's cause I just didn't relate. But this made me laugh. Especially the weeping during D.I.Y. That has already happened and will surely happen many more times :)

"Cause we don't know how to back down"

Honestly, I just don't give myself enough credit. I say I've been up to nothing and complain about not accomplishing much... but truly I have. I've been doing a lot. I've been learning to run a household on my own. Learning how to cook. Reading a TON. I even signed up on GoodReads to read 36 books this year and I believe I can do it. I've started weight-lifting. I'm an amazing bargain shopper for groceries. My German is getting better every day. And I've actually stuck to a diet. Let's talk about that for a minute....

I don't believe in diets. Especially not fad diets. I believe in everything in moderation. That's what my Omi says and she's the only 80+ person I know that still mulches her own garden with 50 lbs. bags, mows her own lawn, and basically does things I'm positive half of my friends are incapable of doing. So. If Omi says this, it must be true! Now that being said, I'm on this diet. It's a sister prescribed diet. Basically it involves powder shakes and elimination of everything that one could be allergic to or could cause one inflammation (meat, dairy, soy, peanuts, booze)... Let's just call this category of food "everything I love." It's short term so I'm really just a big baby for complaining about it, so I won't do much of that. But I will say my sister told me to do it so I'm doing it. Those of you who say I could have refused Ck, well you clearly haven't met her. Ed is also doing this with me. I believe he thinks I'm punishing him. In truth, I couldn't do it without him. When I feel like I could punch a toddler in the face to get my hands on a burger, I text him and he calmly explains I should probably just have a piece of fruit or do some stretches. The main point? I've actually stuck to it. I have not had one forbidden food, not a nibble or morsel or sip of anything I shouldn't be having. This is AMAZING. I never thought myself capable of self-restraint with food, and to be so very restrained... I thought I would explode or fail miserably. And I haven't. I've really done this completely and I'm so crazy proud of myself it's unbelievable. This is what my sister said would happen, this feeling of accomplishment. And so I would like to state publicly that my sister Carolyne K Neely is always right. :)

I've also been knitting a great deal, working on this amazing (and stupidly simple) idea from Living magazine to just make a giant blanket from all my leftover yarn. I love colorful things so this will be fantastic! 

And today I even accomplished one of the very things I wrote about on here ages ago. I said I wanted to do all these things after moving to California. That I was essentially going to become Carly to the Nth power. Well that hasn't happened yet BUT! I French braided my hair today! I've tried many, many miserable times, and today while watching Downton Abbey I thought, you know what. I want my damn hair out of my face and I can do this. Calmly. And I did!!!!!

Sure it's not as tight as it could be, and could be neater, blah blah blah... I wrote down that I was going to do something and I did it! Such a great feeling. 

It feels good to stick with something and just do it. And to know that I've truly followed through. Even in just the smallest, tiniest, silliest things, it's almost more important to then give yourself credit for accomplishing something. And related to that, I wanted to mention I want to try to focus on the positive more. I'm such a huge worrywort, and I did some testing for Stanford that said I was a highly risk oriented person. Meaning, I focus on EVERYTHING that could go wrong. So when you and I are walking down the pier at Fisherman's Wharf, I'm imagining all the sea beasts that will rise up and chomp me in half right in the midst of our lovely day out, instead of concentrating on just being present on that lovely afternoon.

 I believe you can cultivate a happier life. And I really want that. I don't want to end up as the wife/mother that is always freaking out. I want to be the kind of future wife and mother that is joyous and inspiring to her family. (Side note - my inspiration for this was thinking about how Jason and Ilana Kardell are the most positive, happy people I know and how that kid is damn lucky to have them as parents when that baby gets here in March). I've just been thinking and reading a lot lately about how so much of our lives focus on the complaining and the sarcasm and mean-making-fun, and it's nice to take some time to work on being genuine and forth-coming.

"Home is wherever I'm with you"

Does anyone else hate new years resolutions? I truly hate them. I think they are the lamest excuse for people to brag about doing great for a month and then they are forgotten or mutilated beyond recognition. Why can't you eat better and lose weight in December? Or August? What made you fat in May will still be making you fat in January. Same with whatever made you procrastinate, or flake out, or just be damn lazy. You are not suddenly full of more willpower and energy in January. I don't hate resolutions, or comments like, 'I've decided I'm going to be better about eating or working out or writing more' ad naseum. But when it's chalked up to new year's resolutions, it makes me angry. I can't fully explain why but... I just wanted to put it out there. I'm a new year's resolution scrooge. :)

Anywho, I've obviously been doing poorly with writing about what we're up to out here, but I've been doing great with my reading. Powering through books of all different genres. It's been... really refreshing. And I've also been doing great with studying my German. I need more practice putting thoughts together, but I'm retaining a lot and actually feeling able to speak clearly. Watching some of these travel shows, namely The Layover, it astounds me how crippled the US is by the lack of bilingualism (or more). Ed wants to learn Korean and I'm interested in Swedish and Italian. How exciting would that be?

I wish I had more to write about on here. I had wanted to keep everyone updated on our lives out here, but we've been keeping a low profile. I don't mean that in a bad way, it's very calm and simple, I cook a lot (which I love and it's fun) and have my routines. I just wanted to check in this time and write something to let everyone know that much like all the other people returning thanks to new year's resolutions, I had not forgotten about this blog... just haven't had much to write about.

This is all about to change! Well, at least change a little in the next month or two. We've signed up for a survival class. Yes, I know this will be hilarious but if I don't get a good blog post out of that then clearly somethings not clicking. We also signed up for a beekeeping class :) Ed is quite excited about that and it definitely plays into out future plans of a farm life. Also I'm going home for a visit! Jan 18th thru the 25th I'll be on a whirlwind visit to MD to get a new license, plan this damn wedding and run many other errands along with visiting with friends and family. Ed will only be there for the weekend, so it'll be quite a madhouse of a visit. I'm just so excited to go visit. So excited to see people and get things done. I even get to pick up my wedding dress :) There's tons to talk about in the coming weeks and even a couple days. Joe said he'll have my save the dates ready to preview in the next few days and sent out this month. I'm pretty psyched. Yay Joe!!

So. All in all. I'm not dead. Things are good and are going to get even more amazing and I cannot wait to tell everyone about it. Thanks for sticking with me :)