"I think I wanna marry you"

Rustic Fall Barn Wedding : PANTONE WEDDING Styleboard : The Dessy Group

Oooookay, so I've really been slacking with wedding stuff lately and especially writing about it. In fact, I've been slacking about writing in general.... Go figure! :) I promise I'll write something more substantial, I swear, but for now, here's my styleboard of wedding ideas! (It's a mess I know, but stick with me here!)

The red barn you see there is actually where the wedding will be! It's the Maryland Agricultural Historical Farm Park. There are indeed actual animals underneath it (Ed and I are especially hopeful for goats AND llamas). The invitations in the upper left corner are two that are inspiring our future invitations/save-the-dates. The flowers and the inside shot are pictures from the only other wedding that has been held at this barn (this amazing couple who has their own blog: http://www.thebittenword.com/ you can search for their posts on their wedding - which in my opinion was perfection). I love the mismatched fabrics flags for a banner... and the chalkboard paint 'Hello!' would be in a box of props for goofy pictures. Ideally they're for a photo booth but seriously. I will be sewing and piecing together most of the wedding myself with the help of my minions (yes, very Despicable Me style) and probably making the entire dessert table contents myself. I ain't no Rockefeller with photo booths in my spare seventh bedroom. The cake in the bottom right corner is something I would love to have for me and Ed... a little Giving Tree themed cake.

That is literally as far as I have made it in the planning process. I have a dress (it's so pretty I don't even know what to do and will be afraid to move for fear I damage the prettiness of it) and you're welcome to ask for the name of it so you can google it and see it. I obviously can't post it here cause the Mr. maaaaay go snooping. :) And we have the date set, Sept 1st of next year. Joe is working away on the invites. So... that all is of great comfort. Like every other bride on the planet, I'd love for some wedding fairy to swoop in all a-glitter and do everything for me. On the bright side, I feel as if I have already attended the most perfect wedding on the planet and mine can be real basic and hopefully just fun without all the pressure of perfection. (To see that wedding go here: http://www.humanstoryfilms.com/blog/2009/11/20/alex-taylor.html) Sometimes when I start to feel freaked out about making this wedding something more, I watch that video and remember that my family has already had a wedding that was absolutely perfect to a T, so I can kick back and have a hoe-down! Thanks Taylor for knocking that off the family to do list. :)

When I hear the word Wedding I get a little panicky and grab a bunch of planning books, which eventually end up in a giant pile around me along with magazine cut-outs and 'inspiration boards' and browsers with 50 tabs of 'wedding idea' websites. My said 'panic-pile' is sitting directly to my right as we now speak. And that's pretty much how I'll stay until my higher functioning sister, Ck, comes and rescues me with her good sense and ability to act and words of wisdom saying ''Um, the wedding is tomorrow, you need to choose a caterer."

"Looks like you're not happy, 'less I open a vein!"

Back on the East coast, I felt a bit like Seymour when it came to growing plants. Never did get to the point of feeding them blood... But here on the West coast Ed and I seem to be having a lot more success! I've taken another step towards turning into my Omi, spending my day moving plants around to follow the sun, running pots up and down stairs and re-configuring things to water. It feels great to get things growing. I've been told you could plant a 2x4 in the ground out here and it'd bloom, but still, I'd like to think we're at least partially to blame for all the greenery around us. Ed has masterminded a grow station for us to use on the not so sunny days:

The top picture is the grow station (which looks a little different now, we added a second light on the bottom and traded out some of those plants for new seedlings), the middle is our herb wall on the back porch, and the bottom picture has our main chives plant and the healthier of the sweet peas. Outside we have a cat-mint plant, rosemary and two more pea plants. Ed's working on growing cabbage and we may even get really ambitious and try a potato planter. Building and setting that up will be a small adventure! (Something like this in theory: http://www.re-nest.com/re-nest/gardening/how-to-grow-100-pounds-of-potatoes-in-4-square-feet-081760) I cannot express how nice it is to have green things around. Fresh veggies and fruit laid out on the counter, fresh herbs growing within eyesight, and the smell of the peppermint when I water it? It's just such a calming, clean feeling. I suppose at some point I'll have to fill everyone in on Ed and I's fantasy future (but if you want a general idea it'd be something like Beekman Boys minus the commercialism and the stylishness). But that's for another entry!

Aside from growing, it's been quiet. I've been doing an excessive amount of research for the wedding. Can anyone explain to me why weddings are so ridiculously expensive and pressure-filled with 'should-haves'?? Anyone? How do people not have nervous breakdowns about this stuff!? I have nightmares about there being food, but no seats. Or seats, but no food or music. Or food and music and seats and flowers but 5 five guests. I mean... how does everyone include everything? Maybe I'll make the next post about wedding ideas and where things stand with that (disclaimer - I won't post often about the wedding because I find it much more fun and relaxing and interesting to talk about everything else I'm into :) )

Follow-up on the weight loss: 
Exercising is still coming along. I still want to die after working out, but I'm at least doing it. The diet part... Well. That's not coming along as great.... I've decided to start trying one vegetarian meal a week for dinner, any suggestions readers? I've added oatmeal back into my mornings and I feel like that should Oh! I almost forgot, in regards to exercise, I've been using the Wii to track my progress and trying some new video games and well, um, how come no one told me how freaking AMAZING Just Dance 3 is?!?! That is on my x-mas wish list for sure! Any game that has the choreography to Robin Sparkles "Let's Go To the Mall" from How I Met Your Mother is a WIN in my book.

"I'm off with a shot at the start"

So I just finished my daily workout, and for this first time in a long time I found myself doing an exercise where I was in excruciating pain - this is not the new part, this is in fact fairly normal for me since I'm a big pain baby - and instead of collapsing in a chest heaving, sweaty heap on the floor until Ed comes home and resuscitates me (my workout m.o.), I had the instant thought that this hurt so badly because that area was so pathetically weak.

(Disclaimer: the fitness instructor in me would like to say that pain does not necessarily equate gain and that there is a distinct difference between injury pain and weakness pain... it is up to you to be careful and know the difference and when one is turning into the other) 

But today was definitely a weakness pain in my cute-sounding-but-not-cute-looking kangaroo pouch. It was such a good feeling! I know that sounds ridiculous but... it was fantastic! Having the trained reaction change from defeat to 'of course it hurts let's do something out it right now!'
I feel like there are major first steps in a workout routine.

1. Committing to just getting there. Yes, you eventually need to really work hard, but if you can't even get yourself to the gym on a regular and frequent basis, then you just aren't going to get anywhere.

2. Working through the change. And by change I mean pain and sweat and exhaustion. Working out is not comfortable, changing yourself doesn't 'feel good' at least, not the recent state of feeling good you've been enjoying, sitting on the couch watching hoarders and eating anything you can get your hands on. And stopping cause it's hard is just too tempting.

3. There's nothing wrong with being hungry every now and then. It sucks but you can't change your weight without eating differently. That doesn't mean cutting out certain foods or sugar or carbs. You just have to eat less. As Mom says, calories in, calories out.

And I feel as if I've really nailed step 1 and step 2. Hurrah!

Another thought I've had... I'm nervous to use the wedding as a reason to lose weight. Almost every bride I know did everything in their power to lose weight for a wedding and then after the wedding gained that and much more back. I try to use 'the dress' as a motivator to get myself out the door to workout but from that point on, when the pain hits, I just focus on how much more I could physically do if I were stronger. I could swim longer, race longer, hike longer, chase down goats easier, and play Wii games longer! I could carry Ed over the threshold after the wedding! :)

There's tons more to say about wedding plans and ideas and things really freaking me out but for now I need to go collapse into a post-workout coma with some water... until Ed comes to revive me. :)

"I keep dancin' on my own"

Well hello blogosphere! We've been estranged.

So here I am doing the same old same old, trying to get myself writing and trying to better myself. I am also preparing for a wedding! So, I've got some pretty substantial motivation this time around to stick with things. Also I now live in California. So yes, to recap, I left my awesome job, got engaged, Ed got a job with Apple (insert joke about being the next CEO), and moved to Mountain View, California! It's a strange life I tell ya.

Funny thing about being a 'housewife' and having a wedding on the calender... There is not a single reason why I should not be able to accomplish my goals. I can't blame it on work, or being tired, or too many things going on, or not enough time to figure things out... There's absolutely no excuse. This is good and bad. Good - I have to do it. Bad - If I fail it's alllll on me here. 


On the bright side this appears to be working as a motivator... I've made it to the gym all but 2 days in the past 2 weeks. I started a garden that also is growing despite my formerly quite black thumb. I've been cooking all the meals for us aside from one evening out since we've been here (and they've been reasonably appealing meals). The lovely, outrageously talented Joe Lamour is working on save the dates/invitations and we're on the same page about how to design everything. I've secured a wedding venue with GOATS - an awesome plus for a reasons I'll explain later. And I've even got a secret music project in the works (I'd tell you but it's a surprise for my mother who may see this, so if you want to know you can message me privately!)


Places where I've not been so successful but would like to work on: actually getting around to figuring out that damn sewing machine, finding a way to make delicious slow-cooker meals, staying within the weekly $100 food budget, learn how to can and preserve food, make my own ice cream (which is not conducive to the next goal), losing weight, studying for my GRE tests in April, figuring out what I need to do to (possibly) become a teacher in MD, learning how to braid my hair, and ideally finding a job out here.


There are about a MILLION more little things I want to get around to, but I feel like I'm off to a good start. So, I think I'll use this as a place to discuss all the little crazy things I'm up to out here. :) I'm doing this for myself and for my family and friends on the East coast who I miss very much and if you ever wonder what I'm up to, hopefully this will be a good place to check up on me!